Prayers

Each day, throughout the day, when I bow my head to pray, I ask the Lord to wash my ears, eyes, and heart so that I may see, hear, and fell his word. I pray for the ability to put my own worries and thoughts away and try to focus on what I can do to glorify God. I have the same few sentences that I say every day. I know that God is still listening every day when I say these sentences, but he's probably getting a little bored at this point.
I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Soul Caffeine, and it had an AMAZING prayer that summarizes perfectly what I say every day in my own prayers, but it adds something more. It adds a depth that I had lost through my same old prayer. The prayer is:
Father, in Jesus’ Name I’m asking you to change the world through me Today. Please cancel all of my own plans and replace them with Your Plans. I know your plans are better even when I don’t fully understand them. Please interrupt my routine with people who need to be encouraged and helped and give me the Grace and Wisdom to help them. Please clear my mind of my many past regrets and future plans, I know that you’ve already paid the price for my past and paved the path to my future.  Today and everyday, my life is in your hands. Please forgive me of my pride, doubt and selfishness and give me the strength to be free from every form of sin. I know that all sin starts in my mind, so renew my mind with your Truth and guide my thoughts and my actions. Please help me to see the world through your eyes, Today. Help me to see people and love people the way that you do. Let me live Today with the focus and resolve I would have if I knew it was my last day on Earth. Use me as a living instrument of your Grace and Love. Today is a day that you have made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Thank you for the countless Blessings in my life. Today, please help me to choose an Attitude of Gratitude. I love you, LORD. Thanks so much for loving me and for reminding me with every Sunrise, that you are a God of New Beginnings, Second Chances and Beautiful Grace.
Crazy, huh? One little paragraph can affect you. If you're like me, I just read it the first time, I wasn't in-the-zone talking to Him. Yet, it still had an impact on me that I can't explain (but, of course, I'm going to try.) This prayer, so simple and straight forward, demonstrates how each and every one of us can better serve the Lord our God. It begs us to look at the world without judgement or predisposed notions. It reminds that we can't do anything about the things that happened yesterday and we can't control the unknown things of tomorrow. We have to live for today. Right now, this very moment, Jesus is sitting beside you and walking with you. Every time you hit a bump in the road, he holds your hand and lifts you up off your hands and knees. We get frustrated sometimes (well, most of the time) and that's ok, we're human. But, God has a plan which allows us stop thinking about tomorrow and worry about this moment that you are currently in. Easier said than done, but I think that this prayer will really help me to think more like Christ. Thus, I've dubbed it my new favorite prayer.

"The best Christmas I've ever had."

These were the words that an 8 year old boy said to me over and over again on Saturday morning. For the past 6 years I have participated in the rewarding Shop With A insert your mascot here. The program began at my high school, called Shop With A Mustang (SWAM). Each year we raised over $35,000 by walking around the lunch room asking students for loose change. Over $35,000 raised in a high school lunch room. It still blows my mind.
Three years ago, my good friend brought the program, Shop With A Bulldawg, to the University of Georgia as a freshman. The first year there were 80 mentors participating, last year 200 participated and this year 400 mentors showed up at 7:30am on Saturday morning to participate in SWAB. As I looked around at the event, I was astounded to see the amount of people there with the sole intention of helping those less fortunate than them.
I mentored Julian, a hyper 8-year-old boy. As we walked through the isles of Target picking up a football, Julian said it: "this will be the best Christmas I've ever had." I was so excited that we were getting things that he wanted and that would make him happy. We were buying him a football, something so simple that I would just see as a disposable toy. To Julian though, the football signified so much more. When we got back from Target to wrap his gifts, he pulled out the football to show his mom. He exclaimed, "Look at this! Marcus will love it!"I turned to Julian and asked who Marcus was. He told me that it was his older brother and that Marcus loves to play football even more than he does.
Here I am thinking we're shopping for Julian, when Julian has his mind on others and not himself. It was the perfect reminder that material things will not make us happy. It forced me to think of the multiple times that I walk by the volunteers seeking donations for The Salvation Army outside of stores. What is $1 or some loose change? It will not change my bank account or make me starve for dinner. It's just a $1, yet it could help someone else more than I can imagine. Julian was thinking of others and what he could give to them, which is what we all need to keep in mind, especially during the holiday season. It is so easy to get swept into the hustle and bustle of the holidays, but it is the most important time to give back and help others. There are so many opportunities to donate money, time, and effort to others and it can be so simple. So why do we act like it is the biggest inconvenience when do volunteer? Just something to keep in mind the next time you see someone ringing a bell standing next to a red donation bucket.

Standing Still

I don't mean to add two posts in a row that are sad, but I can't help but to share my thoughts. Yesterday was Thanksgiving and in the morning we went and helped prepare a Thanksgiving brunch for the poor. As we drove away in our Lexus to come home to a huge meal, warmth, and many luxuries, I couldn't help but think of how many things I take for granted. Don't get me wrong. I am extremely grateful for the things I have and the people that are around me, but I am not grateful like I should be. I thank the Lord for the many blessings that he has given me, but I don't thank Him constantly. I don't thank Him when I put a log on the fire or when I pull a pie out of the oven. I don't thank Him when my family sits around watching old family videos or when I sit with my laptop using wireless internet. These everyday, very real things are huge blessings. They don't go unnoticed; I recognize the moment and cherish it, but I should be thanking God for affording me with that moment.
Today, as we drove back from the mall, I text my friend asking her about the car she drove because my parents and I are looking into buying me a car. Now, I feel beyond greedy and selfish. My friend text me back and told me that the father of a family on our swim team passed away. He was late 40s/early 50s. How can that be? How can I be worrying about what car I will get when another family is worrying about what they will do without their father? I think of my life and how I would respond or even be able to live my life if I lost a family member. I don't want to imagine it and I can't fathom it. How can I be so concerned with such trivial things?
Then, just moments ago, my mom received a phone call from a college friend about one of their friends who is in the hospital fighting cancer. She was put into ICU and sedated without any family or friends there to OK this step. All I can think about is her and her family and the family of the father that passed away. I am so blessed and I don't even thank the Lord for every wonderful moment that he has given me. I thank the Lord for an amazing family, but I don't thank Him for specific things when something happens. Shame on me. How dare I not thank the Lord for every minute of beautiful life that he has laid out for me? I continuously say that I want to be a better person and a better Christian, but I will never be better if I don't take the steps to become a better person. I owe my family, my friends, and, most of all, my Lord God more. I owe Him my life and it is His to have. I am his humble servant and I can never let that knowledge leave the front of my mind. It is so easy to stumble and stray from the glorious path of Christ, but I can't afford to lose sight of the light. Jesus Christ is my savior and my light. I love Him!

Forgetting My Worries & Counting My Blessings

Today started like any other day, got up, shuffled downstairs, coffee, work... I came up short when I logged onto Facebook though. We all know the drastic changes that Facebook has been going through recently (and, trust me, I write a full post on how frustrating that is), but that is not the point I am getting to. Today, while I sit at my computer worrying about who I am going live with next year, praying my brother and his girlfriend will have a safe trip, and contemplating what I'm going to eat for dinner, is Faith Cline's 19th birthday.
I'm pretty sure that I've written about Faith before, but she is such an influential part of my life and it seems wrong to not celebrate her life again. She taught me so much about living a happy and full life, celebrating everything, talking to others in a kind way, being slow to anger, and love the Lord God with all your heart. She was never afraid or embarrassed to answer questions about her cancer. Faith taught me to have faith (her name suits her so well!) in the Lord's plan and to answer to him first before I try to live my life. He is the one and only who will get me through the tough times to bring me to the good times.
She has been gone for a little over a year now and today, her birthday, reminds me to not take anything for granted and to walk through life with an open mind and heart. I am reminded that my struggles in life are nothing compared to the heartache and fierce longing that Faith's family and friends must feel everyday. She always strove to help others and put a smile on other's faces even when she was so sick. I pray that I may live a life like Faith lived hers. She knew how to worship Christ and please Him in everything she did. She is one of my biggest role models and recall her  life to help me make good decisions. She was truly an angel and, somehow, I was lucky enough to know her. I am so blessed!

Do Unto Others

Last year when all of my friends were trying to decide who to live with in the sorority house, we ended up cutting one girl out of the group to make the rooming situation work. At the time, all I think of was how grateful I was that that one girl wasn't me. That, after all the years of being picked last for teams and not invited to parties, I was in the "in group." That I was wanted. Since then I have felt regret. Regret for neglecting her, for not telling her who I was living with, for being secretive. 

Now, one year later, I am in her position. It's time to figure out who is living with who in apartments next year and I got cut out of the group. It hurts. I felt like they went behind my back to plan living arrangements without me. It's been a constant struggle to not get upset with them or talk down to them. I have brought up the situation once, told them how I felt, cleared the air, and I pray that I do not bring it up again. 

I am being taught a lesson. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Jesus calls us to live in the light of His father, but how can we do that when we are so concerned with ourselves. I am upset that my friends are not including me, but Matthew says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." (18:15) He doesn't say to belittle him or hurt his feelings. It feels good to yell and put down someone how has gone against you, but that good feeling lasts for only a moment. Regret takes its place very quickly. Live life as Jesus did: forgive others and love them whole-heartedly.

When in doubt, STOP

Just yesterday I was writing about how I was still trying to accept the fact that I am not running for an executive position. Today, within the last 30 minutes, I know that I made a good decision. How do I know? Well, I'm in the process of becoming initiated into The National Society of Leadership and Success. Sounds fancy, huh? Well we have to attend 3 speaker series and one was tonight. I have an exam tomorrow (why am I blogging?), and so I couldn't decide whether or not I should go. I tried talking myself out of going, but I felt a pull and a need to attend. This pull, I believe, was God. He knew that I needed to go. I'm glad I listened, because Alton Brown (the crazy cool guy on The Food Network) was speaking. He said a lot of things, but the two things that really stuck out to me were 1) when in doubt, stop and 2) say no.
His point with "when in doubt, stop" was that America runs on people who can go, go, go, but the successful people know when to stop. He stressed that you must stop sometimes, especially when times are tough, and survey where you are in life. If you continually keep going, you are going to mess things up. That's where learning to say no comes into play. You might be offered a great job, position, opportunity, but if it is not in line with what you want and who you are, then say no. You can't ruin something by not taking part in it.... you weren't a part of it. The moment you say no to something, you become that much more desirable as a person. I'm not trying to be desirable by saying no to exec, but I think that by stoping, surveying my life, and saying no to a position, I have bettered myself. Alton stressed that it's ok to take a break. Other people might not get it, but as long as you remember who you are and what you are capable of, you will be fine, no matter how long your break is.
The fact that I felt drawn to the speaker series and that I got so many answers out of it, is my assurance that God did not want me in an exec position this year. I had to take a break. I have to remember what is important in my life. If I decide to run for a position next year, it will be for the right reasons and it will be after I have my grades and social life in order. This break is needed and I have to keep telling myself that I was right to stop and I have to keep the word "no" in the front of my mind when making decisions. Those two concepts will get me farther in life than any position ever could.

Selfish

For the past two months I have been debating wether or not to run for an executive position in my sorority. It has been gnawing at me. What will make me happy? How will I handle the added stress and pressure in my life? Will I maintain my friendships if I still live in the sorority house? Question after question flash through my mind every day. One minute, I have completely talked myself out of running for an executive position and, the next I can't imagine life without doing exec. It has been a long month.
I had been wanting to speak with someone who was removed from the whole situation and any time I tried to set up a time to talk, it never worked out. It was no ones fault, it's just a busy time of the year. It still left me with biased opinions on what my next would be. When I was beginning to accept that I wasn't going to talk to anyone, my friend Ellie reached out to me. Ok, well I kind of dragged her into my web of problems, but she was more than willing to help. Once I told her of the pros and cons of an exec position, she looked at me and softly said, "It's ok to be selfish sometimes." Her point was that I had serious cons about a position and I needed to think of myself and how I would develop as a person under so much stress.
I accepted it. I accept it. I'm still accepting it. Every part of my being wants to be on exec and make a difference, but my grades and social life are holding me back. I desperately want to have the time to do exec, yet I stand here defeated. I keep telling myself, "I can't do it all." Those five words, arranged in that order, though, are new to me. I have always been able to do it all. I feel defeated and like I am losing the person that I thought I was. I keep trying to remind myself that God will make it right. It doesn't matter how badly I mess up, God has a place in my life and will watch over me. While I feel his presence, I am still scared. I am scared of letting people down. I am scared of ruining my next year in school. I am scared of losing myself.
Life throws us curve balls and it's scary. While I can't say that it ever gets easier or that I have gotten used to the feeling of unbalance, I know that I am not the only one going through tough decisions. Everyone has a life and is working to be the best that they can be.

Drowning

You know that feeling that you get when you have finally entered hell week? You have multiple exams, a project to work on, social things to keep up with, and a few meetings to go to. This is my definition of hell week. Now, multiply all of that by 9. This is my life. I have not had a chill week since the 3rd week of school. Frankly, I'm exhausted! Every time that I think I'll get a break, a chance to breath, another wave of exams hits and I am swallowed by the stress to preform.
What's harder is that I haven't even been doing well on my exams. I would be able to survive if I was at least doing well on my exams, but I am constantly making high 70s or low 80s on everything. I don't know where to go or what to do. I've never had a problem with school, this is a first. I know that there is more that I can do, but when I try to add on more studying, a remember that I have to give a speech on the same day.
My parents know that I am struggling, but I don't think they realize that I am almost HOPEless. I am scared for my grades, my financial aid, and my future. I know that I am making a bigger deal out of a bad test score, but after multiple bad grades in multiple exams, I think that I deserve to freak out a little. So this is my call for help. I am drowning in college and there is no life line in sight. I just have to wait for the waves to stop or slow down, but I'm concerned that they never will. This is life and I have yet to catch up.

What did he just say?

Imagine. You're sitting on your couch, watching an interview and the athlete/model/actress/CEO starts on a rant and just keeps going and going and going. Your jaw drops a little more as the time tics on. When he or she finally stops, there is that awkward moment that follows due to everyone's utter shock. In that moment, while I'm thinking "Oh my goodness" and questioning if I just dreamt the past few minutes, one word comes to mind: brat. I feel that the majority of the people who are extremely blessed with money, fame, talent, etc. take it for grated. Many give off the air of entitlement to the next pay check or publicity, when really they should be thanking the mass public for supporting them or buying a ticket to their movie. 

Where is the world going? I admit that I complain about a bad hair day or a difficult exam, but a) I'm not ranting on national television and b) I realize how infinitely blessed I am. My mom emailed me a link to a video of Kirk Cousins, the Michigan State quarterback. He called out the athletes in particular on their sense of entitlement and he made so much sense. He left me with a dropped jaw due to his composure and systematic thinking. He is the type of person that parents can feel good about having their kids look up to. His idea of fame and talent made so much sense and it made me want him to succeed that much more. His good looks sure didn't hurt his case, but you could tell by his emotion and body language that he wasn't aware of his looks or status. He was concerned with giving a speech that would encourage athletes to act better and with purpose. He's a good guy and... I hear he's single! Watch his speech below. It's long, but it only gets better as the minutes go on!

Connecting the Dots

With one thing after the other, life is full of decisions. Some decisions are minuscule, some, though, are monumentally large. Yet, no matter the size, situation, or circumstances, we all must decide what our next step is in this crazy thing we call life. Growing up, I was very blessed. My parents were loving and encouraging; my brother, although sometimes mean to his younger sister, always looked after me; my life was good, wholesome, and a blessing. I use the past tense, but all of these things are still true and I know with all my heart that I am infinitely blessed.
Even with this knowledge and understanding, I still face the decisions that will distinguish me from others and undoubtedly lay the ground work for my future. I know everyone goes through this time in their lives and that it always seems to happen at inconvenient times and usually during college. The good ole "It's just part of growing up" speech has been on replay in my mind for the past few months. It seems that everywhere I turn I am being questioned about my next move and my goals. As human beings, we love talking about ourselves. I'm not an exception, but these conversations are unnerving because I have no definite answer to give. I'm still deciding what I want to major in, what my dream job is, where I want to go on study abroad this summer, and, even as small as, what I'm doing next week. The list goes on and differs for all of us. We all have distinct sub-points under the major themes of life, but, somehow, we all cross off these points eventually.
My belief is that we come across major decisions in life when we are faltering from the path that the Lord has set for us. It's his way of saying "are you sure you know what you're doing and that you're doing the right thing?" He wants us to turn to him and ask what we should do, and only then will we know what we're supposed to do and what our true destination in life is. I think that Steve Jobs, the creator of Apple, explained it best when he gave the commencement speech at Stanford University. He said, "You cannot connect the dots looking forward in life, but, if you believe that they'll connect down the road, you'll be able to follow your heart even when you drift off the well worn path." Putting faith in the future is hard and scary, but the Lord is watching us every moment of our lives, without question. If you don't find what you are looking for, "keep looking, and don't settle."

Lost

I must admit, it has been a little comical to see the new freshmen frantically looking at campus maps and taking the assigned reading seriously. It has been comical, yet eye opening. Seeing the freshmen trying to figure college out has made me reflect on my past year: the trials and tribulations, the ups and downs, the list goes on. This reflection makes me feel as though I have grown in that year, which I have, but not to the extent that I convey to others. I put on this fake "I'm a sophomore sorority girl and I have it all figured out" front, yet, sitting here writing this, I feel lost in my own body.
I go through the motions: breakfast, class, gym, homework, sleep, and repeat. I try to give each day a little flavor, but that only consists of walking a different way to class. I am not new to college anymore, I have settled into my living arrangements, and my classes seem the same as the last one. I feel like I'm constantly running in circles, but I can't get my feet to move. Whenever I get this feeling, the first question that I ask myself is whether or not I have been communicating and glorifying God. 99.9% of the time, the answer is no, so I pray and make a conscious effort to read my bible more. This time, I feel like I have been trying to spread the scripture and I have been reading my bible, but I feel lost, dazed, and confused.
I am trying to find my meaning in life; I am trying to discover what is coming up in the next chapter of my life; I am trying to nail down a schedule of social and personal times. I just know that it is hard to find your way back to the traveled path when you're not sure where you are going.

On The Other Side

I can officially say that I am a sophomore in college! When did that happen? It seems like yesterday that I was walking briskly down Milledge in the middle of Recruitment 2010. Now, a year later, I am looking back on Rush and am in disbelief that I made it through the crazy system. Two weeks ago was work week, where we prepared for rush, and last week was the insanity called Recruitment 2K11. During work week, I finally felt like I was a part of my sorority. I was learning how recruitment worked, the good and the bad. With all of the craziness that went into the past two weeks, I forgot what my purpose was. In my head, I was thinking that the goal was to get an amazing new pledge class, but, with a text message on the first day of Recruitment, my purpose came back to me.
I had become lost in the harsh and hurtful words that tend to surround the recruitment process and I was in disbelief that I was judged to harshly just a year ago. When I went through rush, a friend told me to trust the system, that every girl ended up where she was supposed to. A year later, I was being told the same thing: trust the system. This time around though, I saw the mechanics of the system and, I must say, it hurt. It hurt to know that the women that I love and, now, live with could say such mean things. I found myself falling into the Hollywood version of sororities: cute, pretty, involved, social were being descriptions of the girls that I was talking to. It didn't feel right. Who was I to judge a person that I spoke with for 10 or so minutes? Who was I to manage the system of recruitment and decide their fate (so to speak)? Who was I? I didn't know and that is what bothered me. Every time I found myself sinking into the Hollywood sorority stereotype, I pulled out the text message that my friend sent me on the first day of recruitment... "Hope everything goes well and that you are able to bring some depth into an otherwise superficial system and show the girls coming through the love of Christ."
I was not the person who was supposed to judge these women. I was the person who was supposed to open my eyes, ears, and heart to the women coming through rush. I was the person who was supposed to help guide them to find their purpose in college and to help them feel comfortable in this sometimes superficial process. I was the person who was supposed to show them scripture in my actions and my words. I can't say I was perfect in succeeding this, but I tried. Everyday, whether the conversation was easy or not, I wanted the girls to walk away feeling better than before. I wanted them to feel wanted, not just by me and my sorority, but by Christ.

Following Dreams

I am an advocate for following your dreams. If you can dream it up, you can achieve it. However, I am truly an advocate for others following their dreams; when it comes to my own dreams, I seem to run from them. I am not talking about the little dreams, like interviewing for an organization or being a part of something bigger than myself. I am talking about the big, life long dreams, particularly career aspirations.
Throughout my childhood, I was blessed to have a father that worked from home as an appraiser. When my dad needed to go look at a house, I went along with him. Home after home, I fell more and more in love with interior design. Every color, fabric, and fixture held more meaning as time went on. It got to the point where I made a design board for the redecoration of my room in middle school. I searched for the right colors, rug, and bed spread, and then I presented it to my parents as though they were my clients. Who does that?
It sounds cheesy to be in love with design, but I can't help myself. I wanted to be an interior design from the moment I knew what a job was until the summer before my senior year in high school. That summer I got very into cooking and baking. My love for design seemed to carry over into the kitchen, but for the first time that I can remember, I wanted to be something other than an interior designer. Over the past two years, I have changed from nutritionist to book editor to public relations. With the large amount of options and opportunities that I have been given, my mind continues to go back to interior design. I'm not sure what is holding me back: the instability, the lower income, or the small market of the job. The reasons to not be an interior designer are all there, but the reason to be an interior designer is hidden and it has begun to frustrate me. For the first time I have begun to pray that the Lord bless my future occupation. I know that he will lead me down the right road with the right people, but the "what if" of my job still lingers. So, for now, I will still encourage others to follow their dreams, while I sit and work on mine.

Gaining an Angel

I haven't written for a few weeks, because I hadn't found anything that compelled me to want to write. I've found it though. Today was one of those gorgeous summer days: sunny, a few clouds to give the sky depth, a light breeze. I was driving to a doctor's appointment with the windows rolled down belting out a few country tunes when a song came on that I wasn't familiar with. I regret not paying more attention and catching the name of the song, but I know the line in the song that made me want to write. It was a man singing and said something along the lines of "I cried when mama died, but I have to remember that I gained an angel. She's watching over me." This line struck a cord in my heart.
One of the greatest gifts that the Lord has given me is the time that I was able to spend with Faith Cline. I met Faith through my work in Relay for Life, come to find out that she went to my school. Faith was diagnosed with a brain tumor in her freshman year of high school and was told that she had only months to live. Three years later, after graduating early in a special ceremony from high school, Faith passed away. Faith inspired me. She inspired me to be a better person, to keep an open mind, to have patience, to think before I speak, and to always smile. Besides her wheelchair and occasional medical supplies, you would never know that Faith was sick. She never complained or spoke negatively about her treatment. She is my reminder that when I want to complain, I must remember that I only have blessing in my life. I will never forget her.
You would never guess by the way that I described Faith that I spoke to her only 3 or 4 times. Her actions and beautiful presence have changed my life forever.  My friend, who was much closer to Faith, recently text me about her. She was upset and, although she has faith in God, claimed that God took the wrong person. I responded with "We have an angel watching over us. We are so blessed." We don't know the future and we don't always understand why some things happen, but we must remember that God has a plan. Life is not easy, but we must keep in mind Faith's favorite verse, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." ~ Phillipians 4:13&19

Insecurities

We all have one thing that we just wish that we could change: hips, nose, weight, athleticism, etc. Many of the things that we want to change about ourselves can be changed through diet, exercise, and so on. However, some things, such as self confidence, are harder to alter. I believe that the modern mentality has become that if you accomplish XYZ, then you will be a happy and confident person. Yet, the fact of the matter is that one positive thing does not always have a chain reaction in another area of life. I hate when this realization comes to me, because I am the type of person that, if I just keep going, perhaps something good will happen in all aspects of my life.
If you can't tell, I am fresh off of the couch from watching "Say Yes To The Dress: Big Bliss." The special was focus on plus size brides and the extra trials and tribulations that they go through. All but one of the women featured on the show claimed that they were extremely confident and proud of their curves; to them, I say congrats. The "but one" of the group simply said that the mirror was her reality and that she was terrified of getting stuck in a dress. I pray that I never have to experience that worry, but I found the honesty in her words so pure. For women of all sizes watching that, it was an inspirational moment. The brides telling the cameras about their men brought my mind back to a conversation that I had this morning.
I was at work and my assistant coach asked me in front of another coach if I had ever kissed a guy. Ding, ding, ding, we have insecurity #2 front and center. The fact that I haven't been kissed isn't what I am insecure about. I am more insecure with the fact that I haven't been in any long relationships. I know plenty of amazing guys, but I am too unsure of myself to take my foot out of my mouth. To say that it weighs heavily on me would be the understatement of the year. To make things even better, my assistant coach continued on to say that if I ever needed to talk to someone about "that" that her sister has only kissed her now fiance. I reassured that I was fine, but she gave me this "I feel sorry for you and I'm better then you look" that simply crushed me. It doesn't help that I was already a little frustrated with her. I don't want to talk about my assistant coach, because she is a good person and the purpose of the post wasn't to diminish her. The purpose of this post was to realize that my insecurities might not be the normal ones that we hear about.
I want a boyfriend; I want to be kissed; I want to blush when my guy looks at me. Right now, though, I am trying to live my life the best way that I know how and to be happy at each point in my life. I pray every day that I may lead a life that glorifies the Lord and that I can give over all of myself to Him for only He knows the right path for my life. I guess that I need to add my insecurities to the "Lord, take this off my plate" list. He will give me a person that betters me and that I can learn from when He knows that I am ready for it. That fact is hard to remember sometimes, but it is a fact.

Two Left Feet

I love to try new things: food, restaurants, places, etc. I also love to dance. However, put "new" and "dance" together and my body goes into crazy mode. My friends and I were hanging out tonight and we were swing dancing and learning new moves. Correction, I was simply learning how to trust myself. I don't know if I was hesitant to jump and swing because I have no hand/eye coordination or if I was scared to have someone else supporting all of my weight. Either way, tonight was a mess. I have always watched all of the TV dancing competitions and wished that someday I would have the opportunity to learn the steps and flips. Tonight was that chance, and I didn't seize it. For a person who grasps every moment by the horns, letting an opportunity slip by is extremely frustrating.
I need to learn how to let go, how to put my worries and fears in the coat check while I have a good time inside. I need to learn how to trust the Lord with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul so that he can lead me on the dance floor. He is leading my life and I am sitting here trying to control it and make it perfect. I know that, while it might not be perfect, the Lord will lead me to and through whatever situations lay ahead of me. I need to let go and let God be my rhythm and beat.

Speak Now

Yes, the title of list post is a Taylor Swift song. In her song, she stands up during a wedding and tells the groom to leave the bride and run away with her. Not something that would usually happen, and I'm not talking about the fact that the groom actually leaves the bride on the alter. Rather, I am referring to the fact that TSwift summons the courage to speak up about her true feelings and beliefs. I don't want this to turn into a cheesy "why can't I just say what I mean" post, but I think that every one of us has been in a situation where we cannot find the guts to say what our heart is telling us to say.
Perhaps you have trouble finding the right words. That is my case 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time my heart and/or my head is stuck in my throat. I am either afraid to say something or my mind begins racing about what might happen if I say something that my opportunity to say something disappears. The moments pass me by where I have the chance to raise my voice. I am a firm believer that the Lord gives me opportunities and, after a certain number of times of the moments not being seized, he moves on and allows me to move on too. So, if I don't say something by my 5th or 6th opportunity, I might as well move on. This whole thing was sparked because of a guy. However, I think that it applies to other aspects of your life as well: not discussing your feelings with a friend, talking to a person at work about a projects, etc.
I believe in confidence, finding a purpose and passion in life, being yourself, and living life to the fullest. I also believe that I accomplish these four things the majority of the time. Sometimes, and this is one of those times, I just wish I could take a big gulp and, heart racing, say what my heart is begging me to say.

Living an Uncomplicated Life

I stumbled upon this and I love the simple reminders incorporated in here. So often we make situations and tasks much more complicated than they needed to be and we nearly run ourselves into the ground to complete them. I have found recently that even the smallest task seems to tire me. It is not the task that is actually tiring, but rather my mind making the task seem like life and death. I wanted to repost this list to not only share it, but to have it forever have it bookmarked for me personally. I also added a few notes in blue throughout the list. I think that the secret to living a fulfilling live could be embedded in this list somewhere. Here are 100 ways to uncomplicate your life. Enjoy!

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds

2. Get up 30 minutes earlier so that you don’t rush/get a ticket while driving too fast/have to explain why   you’re late/get fired

3. Get 8 hours of sleep per night so that you think more clearly (LOVE!)

4. Stick to your budget

5. Start saving and investing every week, no matter how little you can spare

6. Balance your checkbook

7. Don’t try to be friends with everyone. Cultivate closer relationships with fewer people.

8. Don’t try to do business with everyone. Identify your target client and take very good care of them.

9. Before getting angry, ask yourself if it will really matter in 20 years

10. Focus on being a good person, not on pleasing others 

11. Stay home this Saturday, and finish off that nagging chore that you need to finish

12. Kiss and make up

13. Make a weekly menu, and shop for only those items at the market

14. Ask your grandparents the best way to uncomplicate life, and try it for a month

15. Fill up your gas tank when it’s half full

16. Don’t drink alcohol when you’re tired, sad or mad

17. Pay your bills on time

18. Get an annual physical examination

19. Say “I love you” to your significant other and to your children. Studies show that more marriages last, and fewer kids use drugs, when these words are spoken every day.

20. For just one day, imagine everyone’s intentions are good because most people’s are

21. Give away clothes that haven’t been worn in two years

22. Throw out clothes that are in disrepair, and can’t be mended

23. When you have a conflict with someone, talk it out. Don’t let it turn into more than it is.

24. Know what your priorities are in life, and act as if they are your priorities

25. Tell the truth

26. Don’t cheat

27. Don’t steal

28. If you’re holding on to a ridiculous grudge, let it go

29. Clean your house weekly, so that it doesn’t become too large a chore

30. Do your best at work, or at school

31. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry

32. Eat when you are hungry

33. Be yourself

34. Say no unapologetically

35. Cook simple meals

36. Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses

37. Pay off your car before buying a new one

38. Organize your desk at the office

39. Change your smoke alarm batteries when the clocks spring forward, and again when they fall back

40. Organize your important paperwork

41. Take only half the clothes that you planned to take with you on holiday

42. Help your children with their homework every night, and have an open dialogue with their teachers

43. Have white sheets and white towels in children’s rooms/bathrooms, because they’re easily bleached

44. Spend your time with nice people

45. Avoid drama

46. Don’t text or talk on the phone while driving

47. Turn off the television/video games/computer; they’re time consumers

48. Don’t engage in office politics

49. Refuse to gossip, or talk behind other people’s backs

50. Do the dishes right after dinner

51. Never go to sleep angry

52. Ask nicely for what you need and want

53. Walk 10,000 steps per day to help your heart

54. Do 20 push-ups before speaking in anger (We'd have a lot of strong people in the world)

55. Leave work at work

56. Don’t befriend anyone that isn’t trustworthy

57. Don’t envy others

58. Have your oil changed

59. Take vitamin C BEFORE you catch a cold

60. Don’t work more than 8 hours per day

61. Weed your garden weekly

62. Wash your car weekly

63. Have a spring cleaning month every year, and do one room at a time

64. You don’t need to be best friends with work colleagues, but build respectful partnerships

65. Don’t drink and drive

66. Don’t look for reasons to be angry or sad, look for reasons to be happy. You’ll always be able to find plenty of each.

67. Be friendly with your neighbors

68. Return emails and phone messages promptly

69. Schedule in free time

70. Don’t procrastinate (Shoot.)

71. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it

72. Be more flexible when you’re able to be

73. Forgive and forget. End of story.

74. Break the consumerism habit…put a three month moratorium in place on buying anything not deemed a necessity

75. Start your diet on September 1, rather than January 1, so that you won’t also have holiday pounds to lose

76. Take care of any health issues or concerns

77. Have your tires rotated

78. Have your brakes checked

79. Have your eyes checked (before you start driving your car again, please)

80. Don’t let your imagination run away with you (not sure if I agree with this 100%. In my opinion, part of the fun in life is having a great imagination.)

81. Let go of perfection in others

82. Let go of perfection in yourself

83. Don’t try to help those that refuse to help themselves

84. Find a way to reduce your commute to work

85. Have an allotted amount of worry time per day/week, that you strictly abide by (LOVE!)

86. Drink more water

87. Eat more salmon

88. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill

89. Wear your hair in a classic, easy to care for style

90. Finish what you start

91. Wear classic clothes and shoes that never go out of style

92. Create a daily routine

93. Have a 1, 5, 10 and 20 year plan for your financial and life goals

94. Slow down

95. Eat out less often

96. When you ask your husband which outfit looks best, thank him for his answer and wear the one he liked rather than focusing on why he didn’t like the other one

97. Allow your children to grow up

98. Clean out your garage, and donate anything that hasn’t been used in the past year

99. Stretch every day

100. If a relationship is over, let it go.

Afraid to Blink

For the past 2 weeks, I have refused to believe that my freshman year is over. It hadn't hit me and, in a way, I was hoping that it never would. Yet, here I am getting text messages from friends a year younger than me while they sit through graduation practice. The texts remind me of where I was a year ago and all that I had to look forward to: moving away from home, living in Athens, and experiencing everything that freshman year would offer to me. The past year doesn't seem real. It all happened so slowly while I was experiencing it, but I look back now and it's all a blur.
I remember being so excited to move in with my roommate. Kelsey was and is amazing! I know that my early bed times and random mood swings were annoying at times, but she bared them. We got to the point where we could guess what the other was thinking just by the look on her face and she could tell when I was upset, even if I was just sitting there. I remember decorating our room for her 18th birthday and still putting up the sign when she walked in. I remember taking our iPods to the showers and listening to song after song (and wasting so much water). I remember her texting me about our dorm winning the Green Cup. Most of all though, I will always remember laughing so hard we cried when we saw the "Burn, baby, burn" picture, watching all of the movies that she had never seen (especially How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days on our last night together in the dorms), and the countless hours that we studied in the SLC during finals Spring semester. They are memories for a lifetime and I can honestly say that I wouldn't have survived without my awesome roomie, Kelsey!
I remember giving Kelsey an "Oh, crap" look when our neighbors across the hall slammed their door on us on move in day. Savannah and Taylor, however, became two of my favorite people and my best friends. I will never forget the country music that you blasted whenever you were in your room (and even sometimes when you weren't in your room). You two were always there to help me get ready for my date nights and always listened when I got home that night. Taylor, I will always remember sitting with you studying for finals Fall semester and switching my relationship status as well as hanging out in my room talking about what we want to be when we grew up. Savannah, as weird as this is to say (and everyone on our hall knows that it is true), I will never forget how you never seemed to be wearing clothes. I remember when we learned that you slept walked. I will also remember
The 2nd floor guys.... oh what to remember. I remember Ackerman stealing a massive soda bottle top for me. I remember the corn conversations with John. I remember AJ somehow always being on the 4th floor when I was in my towel wrap and saying "belt it." I remember the look of shock and surprise on Alex's face when he went to Tacky Christmas with me. I remember playing football with Peters, Greg, and Hayden on our snow days and people jumping into bushes just to catch the ball. You guys were my comedic relief every day and especially when I needed it.
We were the Hill hall family and I can't believe that we are moved out and already getting ready for next year. I know that moving on and growing up is a part of life that everyone has to go through, but I never thought that it would be my turn to move on or my turn to grow up. Now, I'm sitting here researching study abroad programs for Summer 2012 and moving back into my childhood room (only to pack it up again in 2 months). As much as I am looking forward to my sophomore year, I am afraid to blink. I am afraid that if I do, I will suddenly be graduating college and asking people where the past four years went. So, for now, I am just going to remember the good times of freshman year and the amazing people that I was so fortunate to get to know.

Looking Back

I should be sleeping right now, but I am still trying to get off of college time and back onto normal person time. I should also be writing about my freshman year experience, but I am still in denial so that is going to have to wait. I've been trying to get tired, so I have been searching the net and checking out people's blogs and I came across one that my best friend wrote about all of the friend drama that I experienced. I called her crying and she was there, even after we had drifted apart throughout our freshman year. She was the person that was first on my speed dial and couldn't go 15 minutes without texting, calling, or seeing. She was the sister I never had and, even though she has three sisters, made me feel like I was her sister too. I love her to this day for all of the amazing things that she has done and will continue to do in my life.
It was a weird day. Two of my three best friends from high school and I went back to the old stomping grounds to see old teachers and friends. It was a hard situation to wrap my head around while it was happening. Here I was officially a sophomore in college and I was walking through my old high school like a new born. I wasn't lost, but it felt different. It wasn't mine. I had moved on and so had the students and teachers that I spoke with. We all grow up and change. I know that I have grown up (my parents beg to differ), but I still expected my favorite freshman from last year to be a freshman. Now, he is taller than I am, driving, and almost an upperclassman. When did that happen?
What was even weirder was going back to the place that brought my best friends and I so close together. I refuse to say that we have grown apart, because I know that I can still call them in the middle of the night if I need to and they will be there for me. However, we have all had very different experiences our freshman year and have definitely come into our own. We've grown up and matured and seen many things that we wished we would not have. We danced with strangers and stayed out too late. We’ve grown close to other people and regret doing some things. We have different life goals than a year ago, but still strive to be the best women that we can. We’re different, but still all the same and I love that about them.

"Leaver" vs. "Left"

My friends know that I am slightly addicted to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and, while I am intrigued by their investigations and love the suspense of the show, I have become aware of how alone the "bad guys" are. I am not sticking up for people who commit crimes, but rather am advocating that you never do anything that would make you wind up in jail. In one episode, Detective Stabler is so caught up in a victim's traumatizing past that he decides to put himself in "the hole" for three days. The cameras follow his 72 hour experience and it is mentally agonizing to watch. This is a weird way to begin a post, but I have recently found myself feeling like Stabler in the hole: alone and unsure what to do.
Throughout my life, I have been unquestionably blessed with amazing friends. While some of those friendships have fizzled out and others have become more distant, I like to think of myself as a fairly good friend. I'm not perfect, no one is, but I do try extremely hard to always be a shoulder to cry on and a person to laugh at jokes. While I believe that no one should have any regrets and that regrets should be turned into lessons, I've made mistakes and I do regret some of them.
I regret having been the "leaver" in relationships. It's not that I necessarily was upset with a friend, but we were either not in the same class anymore or we were just growing apart. I have never felt like the person who was left in a friendship, until just recently. I have already written about my biffles from high school and how I felt as though I had lost them. I am determined though to reconcile and rebuild those relationships because, I have discovered, that I cannot live without the Fab Four. Now, it is a new set of friendships that has me confused. (If it's not one, it's the other. Right?)
The friends that I had in my dorm this first year of college I considered to be some of my dearest friends. Recently, however I don't even feel comfortable in my dorm (aka home for the time being). I just do not understand. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out if I did something or said something and, time and time again, I cannot think of anything. It's like I'm stuck in this shattered environment that I can only escape with time. That time, however, is ticking away at a snails pace. While I am not ready to move away from the best location on campus and I am not ready to leave my roomie, I am ready to leave the awkwardness and confusion that is surrounding me. All I can think of it that this is the ultimate lesson: I will never be the "leaver" in a relationship again. Now, seeing how the "left" feels, I could never purposely put someone through that kind of pain. I never want someone to experience how I feel now. Lesson learned.

Book vs. Movie

We had a discussion today in my English class about whether books are better than their movie adaptations.... Well, in my humble opinion, books are usually better than their movie adaptations.  Just ask any Harry Potter fan and they will launch into an unending discussion with themselves about how many details from the books the movies leaves out. As a general rule of thumb, I don’t bring up Harry Potter with others to avoid this one-sided discussion. I did not read the series, so I believe that the movies are well animated and put together, even if the acting is a little shaky. This is one of the few exceptions to the rule for me.

            Following the rule are books such as the Twilight series, The Blind Side, and Eat, Pray, Love. If I may sound like a Harry Potter fanatic for a moment, the movie adaptations of these three books leave out so much information!  No matter the novel, it is virtually impossible to convey every minute detail on the big screen. This is no ones fault. If a director was to make a tribute to every page in the novel, the movie would be hours long and audiences would not pay to see it.

            Another problem with making a book into a movie is the point of view that the book is told in. Eat, Pray, Love, for example, is told in first person. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author, describes her experiences on her yearlong trip to different countries. Many of her experiences are inner, spiritual changes that can only described, not seen. How, then, is a director supposed to convey these changes, which are central to Gilbert’s story, on screen? He could lay cheesy narration over scenes to explain what is happening, but narration can sometimes interrupt the movie and confuse the audience. So what should the director do? More often than not, the director cuts out these scenes or adds new ones that were not in the book in order to help the movie flow and keep the audience’s interest.

            Arguably, the largest problem with movie adaptations is character identification. I know that writers argue about the literary quality of Twilight, but I love the books and the movies provide the perfect example for character identification. When I originally read the books, I created imaginary faces and vocal characteristics for each of the characters. However, Robert Patterson, who plays Edward Cullen from the books, was not what I envisioned Edward to look or sound like. This can be good or bad. Whether or not the person playing the character is similar to your imagined version, can dictate whether or not you like the movie adaptation of a book. So while I would like to group all books together and shun their movie adaptations, I cannot. To keep my distance from the Harry Potter fans, I am going to respect different individual’s ideas and preferences and conclude with this: how well a person likes the movie adaptation of a book is based solely on individual preferences.

Turn Off Your Blinker

I just finished watching a music video and the lead singer gave me an idea for a post... pet peeves. We all have them and, as much as some of them drive me insane, I think that they are totally funny. So, you know what I always say... When in doubt, blog it out. (Ok, I've never said that, but it rhymes!)
My Top 5 Pet Peeves
1) Leaving your blinker on even after you change lanes (Hint: meaning behind this post's title)
2) When a person sneezes, and their friend, who definitely heard the sneeze, doesn't say "bless you."
3) When a person dyes their hair, but not their eyebrows. So, they have bleach blonde hair and brown eyebrows. (Hint: lead singer in the music video that I just watch)
4) When people finish their sentences with a high inflection. It leaves you hanging for more, even if the speaker has nothing else to say.
5) When people leave dishes out for more than 24 hours... Just take a minute to clean up your stuff.

A "Need A Hug" Moment

Have you ever had a lot on your mind and been in the middle of something when, all of the sudden, it hits your that the one thing that will make you feel better is a hug? I'm in one of those ruts right now and it seems awkward to walk up to someone and say, "I have a favor, will you hug me?" Even if they agree and give you a hug, it will not be the deep, comforting hug that you need. Call me crazy, but I truly only feel better after my mom or dad give me a hug. (It has to be a parenting secret.) I think that the worst part about being in a "need a hug" mood, is when you aren't 100% sure why or what put you in that mood. 

For me, I was and still am to a certain degree feeling a little alone in the world. I haven't seen my parents in awhile; I saw my brother yesterday, but he was with his friends, so it was an awkward hug/hello as I passed by; I am still trying to figure out who my dearest friends are, so you could say that I am a little lost. I feel as though I am being prepared for something. I can feel God's presence in my life every day (which I am eternally grateful for), and I can feel him trying to tell me something, but I am distracted by the hustle and bustle of our busy world. So, until I am able to decipher what the Lord is trying to call me to do, I am going to stick to prayers and hugs. 

My mind has also been wondering a lot this week, and I cannot figure out why. I have been easily distracted and have been having a hard time concentrating on even the simplest of tasks. I keep blaming it on the medicine that I am taking, but I feel that it is something more. I am restless. I feel as though my mind is getting aggravated with me because I am having a hard time hearing the Lord. I don't blame my mind, my entire being is getting frustrated. So, what do I do? Sit here until I am called upon? Well, if there is one thing that I know about myself, I cannot sit still for an extended period of time. So, I am going to keep living my life and trying to follow the Lord's light and, of course, keep on praying and getting hugs.

Biffles

We have all had those friendships. The ones that start and escalate quickly and you say after only a short period of time, "we'll be friends forever" or "she'll be in my wedding." We know the sayings and we use them a little too regularly sometimes. These sayings build a picture in our minds of our women or men sitting on the front porch saying "Remember when.." and "Ah, that was the day." So when the day comes that you realize that your "Maid of Honor" is no longer standing next to you in your wedding vision, it can be a tough realization.
Why bring up something so negative? Well, I'm not getting married anytime soon, but I am going through a time in my life where I don't know who I can call my best friend or biffle (best friend for life), as we're now calling it. I also bring it up because a friend (who's still in high school) text me yesterday about friend problems. Not to mention that Stages of Relational Decay was the topic of discussion in my Speech Communication class this morning, which yet again compelled me to analyze my own friendships. I recognize that I am in a transition of friends and it's a hard transition for me. In high school, I was surrounded by a solid, supportive, and amazing group of friends. I knew, or thought that I did, that my three high school biffles would be on the alter with me at my wedding and be the women that saw me through life's milestones.
Now, as I approach the end of my freshman year in college, I am looking back and asking myself, what happened? I don't even have an excuse; two of my three high school best friends are at the same school at me. So, what happened to our relationship? What happened to the constant text messages and midnight runs to Racetrac for slushies? I don't know. There is no question that I wanted those three friends to be the three that saw me through the rest of my life. Yet, sometimes we don't have a say as to who stays in and who quietly leaves our life. I like to think that it doesn't matter; I should be fine so long as I have my family and my faith. I'm not alright though. I miss my high school biffles with all my heart and there is not a day that passes that I don't think about and pray for them. The hardest part is that, no matter how desperately I want them to be a driving force in my life again, I can't seem to grasp the few remaining strands that are holding our relationship together.
All three of them will always be my friends, but we are moving on and growing up. God gives us the people that we need; people to lift us up when we fall; people to celebrate with us in times of thanksgiving. While I believe this, I will always need my high school biffles. Yet, I also believe that we are growing apart because other people need their amazing support; the support that got me through many tough times and positively changed my life forever. So, if you know one of them and/or consider them your biffles, take a minute and thank God for the gift that he has given you. They are truly three of the strongest, good willed, honest, and beautiful people that I know and will probably ever know.
The advise that I gave my friend yesterday is that when you feel as though you are slowly saying goodbye to a friend, recognize it. If you don't want the friendship to end, you have to work 24/7 to keep the friendship strong and fresh. If you don't mind your relationship diminishing from biffles to good friends, then enjoy and cherish every moment that you spend with them.

Attraversiamo

What does that mean? Attraversiamo means "Let's cross over" in Italian. Why did I name my blog that? When I created this blog, I had just finished reading Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. In the book, Gilbert travels to Italy, India, and Indonesia searching for her purpose in life. Her favorite Italian word was attraversiamo. She loved it because of the way that it sounded; it embodied all of the beautiful parts of the Italian language. I just happen to agree with her... for now. I am taking Italian next year, so, at the moment, I love this word!
I think that attraversiamo can mean more than just the surface level meaning of "let's cross over." It can serve as a reminder that nothing in our lives are set in stone. We can always change paths and be better. God gave us the ability to make our own decisions, however he is always there to guide us in the right direction. So while attraversiamo has a direct translation, I translate it to be the ideal, a dream, and a hope.

A Challenge? Bring It On.

I'm a rules person. I don't like being told what to and what to not do, however I like following rules and guidelines. This is especially true when it comes to writing. When teachers assigned a paper in high school and gave me a prompt to follow, I was all set. Consider the paper written. If I did not have an assigned paper topic, I'm headed toward procrastination. It's a fact.

This is different though. I can think of things to write about, however finding the time to write them down is sometimes hard; however, I love my blog and want to use it! So, I've decided to participate in the 30 Day Blog Challenge. If there is one thing I learned from my childhood/brother: never back down from a challenge. I cannot guarantee that this will be the normal challenge though; it will probably end up being the 20 or so Day Challenge (What can I say? I don't like some of the topics.) So here goes....

15 Interesting Facts

1. I learned my right from my left by a "L" shaped scar on my left arm.

2. I've been up in a hot air balloon.

3. I have 24 cousins on my mom's side of the family. (Christmas is so crazy and wonderful.)

4. I'm addicted to working out.

5. I'm even more addicted to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

6. If it's possible, I'm more addicted still to Crystal Bay. (The best drink you will ever taste!)

7. I have climbed a glacier.

8. I have spent the night in an authentic tee-pee

9. I have traveled to Australia.

10. I chose to come to UGA because I would be closer to my brother and because the security here is awesome!

11. I quote movies like it is my job. (I should get a raise!)

12. I am terrified of roller-coasters.

13. I have been on swim team since I was six.

14. My worst fear is drowning. (I'm a swimmer, but still...)

15. I'm really not that interesting.

Mom. Dad. I love you.

It's been a few weeks since I have posted. I'm sad at this fact, but that also means that I have not been procrastinating on my homework. However, I have been wanting to write on this specific topic for awhile and I figure now is as good a time as any.
First of all, my parents are amazing. Period. No questions asked. My brother and I had an amazing childhood, awkward pre-teen stage, and teenage years. (For my brother, I suppose this can go into adulthood, because he's officially 21!) We were trusted by our parents and disciplined when we needed to be. My dad gave me a love for laughter, classic rock, and never paying for something that you can fix yourself. My mom taught me how to deal with friends, act like a "lady," and hunt down a sale. In a quick overview, I freaking love my parents.
While I usually acknowledge and thank them for doing something for me, they deserve so much more. This year was the first year that I went on Spring Break with just a group of friends, no adults. Was it crazy? If you consider laying on the beach for 6 hours a day, cooking dinners, watching tv, and going to sleep fairly early crazy. Then, yes, we had a crazy Spring Break. On the way back home, I was going a little fast on the highway (Not ok! Don't ever do it! It's scary and dangerous!) and was pulled over. Let's just say that I was shaking so badly that I could not sign the ticket without really, really concentrating. It was my first, and hopefully my last, encounter with law enforcement. I was debating about whether or not to tell my parents. Well, I did in the end. They were not happy, I was not happy, but they helped me.
Family is there through thick and thin, good and bad. I know that a speeding ticket is not the extreme definition of "bad," but for me it was a terrifying event. They were there for me. I can't even say how much it meant to me. It still blows my mind how great they are to me. So, Mommy and Dear-ole-dad, I love you!

Thank you, Richie!

In high school, everyone is identified by what they do: academics, sports, and/or clubs. For me, it was a combination of those three. I pushed myself academically and I was a swimmer. However, I consider my defining activity to be student government, or Mane Link. Cue the weird looks. Mane Link, at my school, was one of the crucial pieces that made our school exceed and be recognized nationally. It was the best experience that I could have had. I learned so much in the two years that I was heavily involved. Although some of the things that I learned were based on mistakes that I made, I learned the most from the Mane Link sponsor and Assistant Principal, Richie. He was and still is amazing. He put all of his faith, financial and otherwise, in Mane Link. We had a large budget that we had to regulate, plan multiple events to plan, and be leaders in the school.

Now, I say leader, but what does that mean? I don't have an all-encompassing definition and neither did Richie (that I know of). Leader is defined in many ways, however my favorite definition of leadership is "a leader builds more leaders, not more followers." Richie was a leader and, at first, we followed his and the previous year's executive board's direction. Yet, the faith and motivation that he displayed shaped my perspective on my school work, my relationships, my future, and every other part of my life. (I love telling him this, because he did have such a positive impact on my life. I still don't think that he believes his impact on me, though.)

One of the best things that Richie did was praising our well planned and executed events, but always saying that we could improve the next year. I think some of my friends would like to hurt him for this because I always want to improve, do better, and help others. It frustrates me sometimes, too. If a person doesn't understand the point of something or has an awful attitude, I go crazy because I do have high expectations. I'm glad that I do, though, and I have him to thank.

Therefore, I am giving up on the thank you e-mails that I always send him, and, instead, I am dedicating a blog to him. (Highest honor, right here.) When I am asked about my role model, after the Lord and my family pass through my mind, I think of Richie. He always gave back; whether it was his energy, his money, or his time, he gave to others. I strive to make the personal, yet small sacrifices that he made to empower me and make me a better person. The right thing isn't always the easiest. Actually, I'd argue that it is pretty much never the easiest thing, but I always want to go the extra mile and do the right thing because, while my parents taught me this, Richie pushed me to that higher level. Usually, I tie in a biblical verse here, but I'm going to end this with his favorite quote.

"It takes a village to raise a child." ~ African Proverb

Picture or Picture Frame?

I have been having a tough time recently. Nothing major, but I have hit a few bumps in my life and have been trying to deal with them. (Hint: "deal with them" means that I pray 10x more then I normally do.) I am blessed to have friends that share in my similar beliefs and I love to celebrate with them.
Tonight, I went to a worship session, so to speak, that focused on spreading the Word of our Lord to everyone. The message was for men and women especially in the Greek system, where it is easy to fall into the trap of drinking, hanging out with the wrong people, and, to sum it all up, absorb yourself with worldly things. So often, whether you are Greek or not, we fall into the trap of putting all of our focus, effort, and time into a new cell phone, a boyfriend or girlfriend, school work, Facebook, things that fill nothing in our hearts. I like to call them distractors. I'm not talking about Facebook (or in my case, this blog) distracting you from writing that paper that is due tomorrow. I am talking about the superficial things that, 10 years down the road, won't really matter. These distractors take us away from the Lord.
An easy way to think about this is the optional assignment that my English teacher gave to my class senior year in high school. We were told to write a note to our parents. (Shhhh....Don't tell my parents about this, they think I'm the sweetest kid ever!) We didn't turn it in to my teacher, we didn't even write it during the school year. The letter was a thank you note to our parents for everything that they had ever done for us: make your lunch, teach you how to tie your shoe, tuck you into bed, you name it. It was all up to you. The big tear-jerker part of this is that we left the letter somewhere at home, so that our parents would find it the first night or morning that we were away at college. This little assignment is near and dear to my heart and my parents. I would bet money that the three pages that I wrote to each of them means more then the Christmas presents that I gave them last year. The Christmas presents were materialistic.
All of these distractors were called into light tonight. One of the men who spoke used an analogy that I loved! He held up a solid black picture frame with no picture in it and said:

"When you look at a framed picture on a shelf, you look at it and say, 'Wow, what a great picture!' You don't say, 'What a great frame!' Me, you, we need to be a picture frame for the Lord. So when a person looks at you, they don't see you; rather, they see the Lord."

It just makes sense. We need to constantly reach out to others. Dropping the distractors and holding (or framing) the more and most important thing in life. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

A New Dish

Every person has a favorite restaurant. If you don't, your mouth must be sown shut and you cannot eat real food. If this is your case, I am so, so sorry; because, I do not know what I would do without delicious food.

At your favorite restaurant, you probably have a favorite meal. You can discover a favorite dish by trying different entrees or, if you are lucky enough, the first time you entered the restaurant, you chose the perfect meal and you now order it every time you go there. The latter applies to me for my favorite restaurant in Athens: Transmetropolitan. Transmet, for short, serves yummy Italian style food. Since Italian food is my absolute favorite, I was immediately drawn in. My meal of choice: a side salad with fresh mozzarella and a amazing slice of pepperoni pizza with thin, crunchy crust. I don't even bother looking at a menu.

Last night, however, I did something crazy. No, I didn't do what you are thinking of. I ordered something different (Cue the dangerous/adventuresome music). I ordered a panini with sauteed green peppers, red onions and portobello mushrooms with grilled chicken. It was delicious. 

La scoperta di un piatto nuovo è più preziosa per il genere umano che la scoperta di una nuova stella. From Italian to English: The discovery of a new dish is more precious to human beings than the discovery of a new star. Or at least this saying is true for me.

We are all so concerned about what we are putting into our bodies. I can't lie, I'm probably more concerned than most, but healthy eating habits are essential to a healthy life. But every once in awhile, roll up your sleeves and enjoy a new, different, and delicious meal at your favorite restaurant. Besides, can it really be considered your favorite restaurant if you have only had one or two things on the menu?

Bad Days

No, it did not rain today. However, it was one of those days where one thing after another did not go as well as I would have hoped. We all have them. The test was way harder than we anticipated. The printer would not work and you were in a time crunch. The e-mail that you had been waiting for for two weeks finally came, but it started with "unfortunately" rather than "congratulations." For me, the day that I just had contained all of these scenarios. The day were you just want to throw your hands up and say "Everything bad has happened. Is there really anything else that could go wrong?" At that moment, a truck hits a puddle and you are soaked. Thankfully, that did not happen to me today. My point is that we all go through them at one time.
You know when you are studying for a huge test and a friend is studying for a hard exam too? We take comfort in the fact that we are both studying for hours. It doesn't seem as bad if someone is going though the same thing. So, why is it that, when we have bad days, nothing can top our sad stories. If you sit down to tell someone about the awful day that you just had and they try to pipe in with a mini-gloomy story, you hit them with a massive, look out for your lives, soap opera of your life. The bitterness started with one day, and somehow leaped into your entire life. Why don't we feel comforted?
I wish I had the answer, because I would love to unleash my inner soap star. I don't though. (I know. Sad.) It seems as though the only things that will comfort me are my good friends Ben & Jerry, but my wardrobe doesn't approve of our love affair. So, I'm sorry Ben & Jerry. Maybe next time. 
For now and always, I am turning to God. For where a door closes, God opens a window. (I hope it's a big window though so my two friends can come along.) I might not find the window tomorrow, but it's there. Proverbs 3: 5-6  says "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."It's hard to do, especially on the bad days. God is the shoulder of all shoulders to cry on. Lean on him, and, in time, the bad day blues will disappear.

Where are the good guys?

It has occurred to me as the awful holiday, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day, has quickly approached that the good guys are dwindling. What happened to the men depicted in the black and white movies? The guys that stop you, pick you up, and carry you over a puddle so that you don’t get wet.

With Valentine’s Day tomorrow, and my plans including getting desert with some friends and doing homework, you could say I am a little bitter. I’m not upset about not having a guy (well, maybe a little). I’m sad because all of the good guys are taken, or, even worse, the women are just settling for the “eh, ok” guys.

My friends and I are talking about re-enacting the scene from the movie Valentine’s Day, hitting a heart-shaped piñata. This is a problem. Good guys, if you are out there, your appearance around town would be greatly appreciated. You are extremely missed.

"Hurry Back"

Today was one of those days. The type of day were my alarm went off but I wasn't quite ready to wake up; I finally got out of bed, but with a backache; when I got to the gym, I had zero motivation to workout. Know what I am talking about? It was just one of those days. I want to focus on the gym part though. I had no motivation when I got there, but by the time I left I had run 7.5 miles and would have kept going, but I felt guilty since there was a line of people waiting for the treadmill.
Many people argue that you don't go anywhere on a treadmill. Technically, they are correct; I'm not moving from Point A to Point B. However, to me, I truly moved and ran that 7.5 miles. No matter how or where you run the distances are the same. Something is accomplished.
This "something is accomplished" reminded me of my Grandpa Mick. He was a runner and a darn good one. He ran for Michigan State, was an All American Athlete, ran a mile in 4:06ish, was a cross country coach for many, many years, and became the town's favorite coach. When he was coaching and preparing his runners, he would always leave them with the same two words: hurry back. Those two words told his runners that he wanted them to work hard, run fast, and excel. He wanted to see them succeed in whatever race or obstacle that was set before them.
I love his saying, "hurry back." Although it does not fit into every situation... "How was your day?" "Hurry back."... the saying reminds me to strive to excel in one thing each day and that I accomplish something everyday. When I am going through a tough or frustrating time (which, is about every day), I just think "hurry back" and I relax. I call to mind the things that I have already completed and the stress evaporates. Never lose sight of what truly matters in life. The things that seems to drown us every day will not kill us. We just have to remember to "hurry back."