Following Dreams

I am an advocate for following your dreams. If you can dream it up, you can achieve it. However, I am truly an advocate for others following their dreams; when it comes to my own dreams, I seem to run from them. I am not talking about the little dreams, like interviewing for an organization or being a part of something bigger than myself. I am talking about the big, life long dreams, particularly career aspirations.
Throughout my childhood, I was blessed to have a father that worked from home as an appraiser. When my dad needed to go look at a house, I went along with him. Home after home, I fell more and more in love with interior design. Every color, fabric, and fixture held more meaning as time went on. It got to the point where I made a design board for the redecoration of my room in middle school. I searched for the right colors, rug, and bed spread, and then I presented it to my parents as though they were my clients. Who does that?
It sounds cheesy to be in love with design, but I can't help myself. I wanted to be an interior design from the moment I knew what a job was until the summer before my senior year in high school. That summer I got very into cooking and baking. My love for design seemed to carry over into the kitchen, but for the first time that I can remember, I wanted to be something other than an interior designer. Over the past two years, I have changed from nutritionist to book editor to public relations. With the large amount of options and opportunities that I have been given, my mind continues to go back to interior design. I'm not sure what is holding me back: the instability, the lower income, or the small market of the job. The reasons to not be an interior designer are all there, but the reason to be an interior designer is hidden and it has begun to frustrate me. For the first time I have begun to pray that the Lord bless my future occupation. I know that he will lead me down the right road with the right people, but the "what if" of my job still lingers. So, for now, I will still encourage others to follow their dreams, while I sit and work on mine.