Yesterday I had a minor--ok, a really big--freakout about my lenten sacrifice. Was I giving up enough? Was I really showing my faith in Christ if I wasn't giving up the things that I am addicted to? I called my mom last night to run the whole thing by her, and while that helped to calm my heart and mind, I was still uneasy about my decision to give up Twitter and flavored water. I felt like it wasn't enough.
I got my reassurance that those two things are enough this afternoon. Today was an amazingly beautiful day! We're talking sunny, no clouds in sight, and 75 degrees. B-e-a-utiful! I went to Starbucks (shocker, I know) to celebrate the gorgeous weather and while I was standing there waiting for my drink, I had the urge to tweet about the great weather and the Starbucks about to be in my hand. Then, later when I was sitting on the front lawn doing homework, I wanted to tweet about the low hum of country music coming from the fraternity across the street and the sun streaming down on my skin. It was a strange feeling. I gave up Twitter as an alternative to Facebook because I need Facebook for school and my internship. I know I'm not as addicted to Twitter as I am to Facebook; I didn't event think I was addicted to Twitter. The desires that I felt this afternoon to tweet, answered my question from yesterday. My sacrifices are enough.
The best part is that every time I wanted to tweet today and I realized that I couldn't, an idea popped into my head: who cares? Who cares what I have to say or what I'm doing? It cracks me up that I became addicted to something that serves very little purpose other than to inform people about my life, which they probably have no interest in. Too funny!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
What gives?
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Christ's 40 days and nights in prayer and fast. Being a Catholic, I not only grew up participating in a lenten sacrifice (give up something from Ash Wednesday to Easter), but I also take it seriously. I like a challenge, so I usually give up something that I am fairly addicted to and have/use everyday. For the past 5-6 years, I have given up sweets. Not just chocolate, all sweets. It's tough considering I'm the girl that has an Dark Almond Dove chocolate after lunch and dinner every day. What can I say? I have a serious sweet tooth.
This year though, I feel a new sense of importance and calling during Lent. While I could give up sweets again, I feel that I am wimpping out. I feel like I have fallen into such a pattern of giving up sweets that I've lost the understanding and significance of Lent. So, if not sweets, what should I give up to show my belief and faith in Christ? To this answer, I keep coming up short. I don't have an answer. I've run coffee (might be impossible for a college kid) and Facebook (I use it for group projects for my classes) through my head and have decided that those are "impossible." But yet, is there anything that is impossible if I put my faith in Christ? There isn't. All things are possible through him. So why can't I give up these earthly things? It frustrates me to no end that I don't have the will to stop drinking coffee or to give up Facebook.
I have given up other things. Yes, "things" is plural. I felt like if I gave up multiple things that I still have/do every day that maybe it would amount to the sacrifice I would be making if I gave up Facebook or coffee. Yet, I feel like with a list of things that I can't do, I have to think through every action that I make. This isn't a bad thing, but if I have to think so hard about if I'm breaking a lenten sacrifice, have I again lost the true meaning of Lent? It's an internal struggle that I have been dealing with over the past few days. What do I give up to show my dedication to Jesus? He sacrificed his life for me, how do I reciprocate that? I know that I am human and that God made me in his image. I know that the reason that Jesus is the Son of God is because he could lay down his life for me and make the biggest sacrifice of all.
I'm making my little dilemma seem so important and life-changing, and it's not. It's just that I don't know how to praise the Man that made me who I am, that has my entire life planned, and that has my back every minute of every day. And to me, that's huge.
This year though, I feel a new sense of importance and calling during Lent. While I could give up sweets again, I feel that I am wimpping out. I feel like I have fallen into such a pattern of giving up sweets that I've lost the understanding and significance of Lent. So, if not sweets, what should I give up to show my belief and faith in Christ? To this answer, I keep coming up short. I don't have an answer. I've run coffee (might be impossible for a college kid) and Facebook (I use it for group projects for my classes) through my head and have decided that those are "impossible." But yet, is there anything that is impossible if I put my faith in Christ? There isn't. All things are possible through him. So why can't I give up these earthly things? It frustrates me to no end that I don't have the will to stop drinking coffee or to give up Facebook.
I have given up other things. Yes, "things" is plural. I felt like if I gave up multiple things that I still have/do every day that maybe it would amount to the sacrifice I would be making if I gave up Facebook or coffee. Yet, I feel like with a list of things that I can't do, I have to think through every action that I make. This isn't a bad thing, but if I have to think so hard about if I'm breaking a lenten sacrifice, have I again lost the true meaning of Lent? It's an internal struggle that I have been dealing with over the past few days. What do I give up to show my dedication to Jesus? He sacrificed his life for me, how do I reciprocate that? I know that I am human and that God made me in his image. I know that the reason that Jesus is the Son of God is because he could lay down his life for me and make the biggest sacrifice of all.
I'm making my little dilemma seem so important and life-changing, and it's not. It's just that I don't know how to praise the Man that made me who I am, that has my entire life planned, and that has my back every minute of every day. And to me, that's huge.
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