2014 was my year

2014 was always the year that I looked forward to. It was the year I would graduate college--whether it took me four years or four and a half years it would still be 2014. It would be the year that my "real life" finally started: my own fancy apartment, a fab job, maybe a dog (doubtful, but part of the dream). It was going to be a great year. As I write this on December 31, 2014 and reflect on the year only a few of the things in my 2014 dream happened, but it was the year of me and I wouldn't have changed one part of it.

I did graduate college, I graduated cum laude from my dream school in four years. I traveled to Italy, a dream that I had had for years. To make it even better, I traveled around the most beautiful cities for two weeks with one of my (now) very best friends. I haven't landed the dream job yet, but I've been fortunate to intern with an international PR agency for the past five months and have gained so much knowledge and experience. I have yet to even go apartment hunting, since I don't have the fab job to pay for a fancy apartment.

These were great accomplishments and, what I thought, life-halting set backs. Looking back on the year though, I've defined it as the year of me. Loosing my grandmother at the end of 2013 was hard. I faltered in my relationship with The Lord for the first half of this year. I lost sight of who I was and what I wanted. When I realized this and took a step back, I began to really focus on who I was and I what I wanted in life. I tried new things, spent time alone, went out of my way to satisfy my curiosity. I learned about life and about myself. Going into 2015, I am confident in who I am and aspire to be. I am closer with God today than I ever have been. I have accepted the cards I have been dealt and take comfort in knowing that The Lord has my roadmap in hand.

2014 was my year and I can't wait to see what the future holds!

What Titus Taught Me

It has been quite awhile since I have written, but I'll do all of the catching up later. Right now, I want to talk about Titus. This book in the bible is a short, but powerful letter from Paul to one of his most trusted friends, Titus. In the letter, Paul is giving Titus the responsibility of whipping the "Christians" in Crete into shape and explains to Titus--and in turn you and I--how to handle difficult situations.

Paul leaves no room for interpretation. He calls the Cretans out as "liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons" (1:12) Paul goes on to say that "they must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they out not to teach--and that for the sake of dishonest gain" (1:11). Right there: dishonest gain. Paul is calling to our attention that doing and saying things for the betterment of yourself and not others or deceiving others, isn't right. He tells Titus to silence them so they cannot spread that wickedness.

Ok, so they're faulty Christians, but is what they are actually doing really that bad? Paul explains, "they claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him" (1:16). What's the saying? Actions speak louder than words? That's the one. I have never been one to throw bible verses around in day-to-day conversation. Although I believe in God's word, I have found that when people begin quoting scripture in a regular conversation, I get very defensive. I believe what they are quoting, yet it really bothers me. I've come to accept that I'm not a quoter, I'm a doer. I act out (or try to) God's love and mercy through my actions. So, I love that Paul makes a specific note that people's actions display The Word of the Lord. We can't just talk the talk, we have to walk the walk as well.

Once Paul points out the bad, he translates into the good and how we, as Christians, should act. Perhaps my favorite verse in all of Titus is 1:8: "Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined." Hello! It's like a professor just gave you the answers to your final exam! Paul is spelling out for us how to be good people and show God's love and mercy. So, let's break it down...

Be hospitable - Mi casa es su casa.  I don't know about you, but sometimes I don't want to share. Be it food, an article of clothing or a favorite reading chair, many times I find myself getting upset because I want it all to myself. Be nice. It's just stuff and we should be happy that someone else finds joy in the things we find joy in.

Be one who loves what is good - Gossip, ignorance, bullying (emotionally or physically). The list could go on, but it's all bad and it tears other people down. If it's so bad, why is it so darn easy to do? Doing what is right and good is hard, but God, through Paul's letter to Titus, is calling us to turn the other cheek, to be inclusive and to give to others.

Be self-controlled - Think before you act. Think before you speak. Be yourself and have a personality, but be respectful of yourself and your talents. On the opposite side, don't get worked up easily or snap at someone. Again, think.

Be upright, holy - So this trait on the list really bothered me at first. I really struggled with the idea that someone who loves God is put on a pedestal; they are better than the people around them. I read it again and again and I finally came to the conclusion that for me upright refers to being confident and holy means to respect my values and not be ashamed of them. Once I finally got to this interpretation, I loved that Paul was calling me to action, to stand up straight and fight for what I believe.

Be disciplined - Ok, so this is hard. I don't know about you, but I was notorious for scheduling an hour or two of studying each night in college, but instead going to the gym or watching Netflix. How about sitting down to read your bible? What about something as simple as calling our parents or a friend each week/month? It's hard to carve out time for these things. But Paul is giving us the challenge to sit down and really work on our mind and body so that we can be in tune with the Lord. It's hard, no doubt, but God is always there to help us along!

This is already much longer than I thought, but I want to encourage you to read Titus in the New Testament. It is super duper short--it took me about 10 minutes to read and I am a crazy slow reader. Once you've read it, walk away and then come back and read it again in a day or two. See if anything new pops out. It's a beautiful part of the bible that I am enjoying digging into. All of these interpretations are my own, but the best part about the bible is that each verse means something different to each of us. God gave the bible to each of us individually and I am learning just how powerful the bible is for me. Love and prayers for all that is good!

Why I accepted the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

It's everywhere. Video after video being posted on social media, highlighted on television and discussed daily. After a few days of seeing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge videos, I was over it. Maybe it's the fast-paced 20-something in me that constantly needs something new, but the videos were more annoying than anything after a week. Then I got nominated; I really dug in my heals.

As I saw more and more of my friends excepting the challenge, I decided to learn more about this disease that had everyone dumping water on their head. I learned that ALS does not discriminate. It does not know age, race, gender. The hard part is that doctors don't know what causes it; it is a mystery. Those affected by ALS have a hard road ahead. Their life expectancy is two to five years, in which time their body slowly deteriorates until they have to eat through a feeding tube, are confined to a wheelchair, and have to rely on others to use the restroom, sit up and breathe.

The idea of not being able to run, stand up in the kitchen to bake, and walk around to take photos. It's a terrifying and heart-wrenching prospect. I feel so, so blessed to have my health in tact. As if the research didn't have convinced to douse myself with ice water, I then watched the following two videos and my mind was made up. I was accepting the challenge.

Video 1: http://aplus.com/a/anthony-carbajal-ice-bucket-challenge-emotional-video

Video 2: http://espn.go.com/boston/story/_/id/11366772/in-als-fight-pete-frates-message-loud-clear-ice-bucket-challenge

Why moving home after college feels like a failure

I had two major life goals: have a job (or a serious lead) by the time I graduated college and not move home after college. I failed at both. I can't say that I haven't been trying to find a job; I've sent out resumes, follow ups, and reached out to friends and professional. I'm trying, but this is a topic for another time. I want to talk about the latter: moving in with my parents. I've lived at home for 10 days now and seven of those days have been spent on vacation with my parents. 

There's been a strain on my relationship with my parents since I've moved home. Now, I love my parents. My mom and dad are the two most kind-hearted, giving, loving and all-around wonderful people. You can say I'm bias, but, for anyone who has met my parents, you know that they're truly an amazing dynamic duo. I have heard some horror stories about families and I know how blessed I am for my parents to be celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary today (happy anniversary, guys!) and still be as in love as they were on their wedding day. As rockin' as my parents are, any college grad who has moved home after college knows that it's an adjustment. 

I've been "on my own" for four years. Yes, my parents supported me financially, I lived with roommates, and I respected the rules of my dorm, sorority house and apartment complexes, but I haven't had supervision or someone trying to kiss me on the cheek before I go to sleep in four years. I would drive the hour and a half home fairly often and my parents would come visit me at school, and I was always so excited to see them. However, I knew that I'd be back on my own in 48-72 hours. I could deal. 

At this point you might think I soundslike a spoiled brat and I kind of feel like one, but hear me out. After college, where I've just spent four years maturing, growing, and figuring things out on my own, it's hard to establish the line with my parents between my new adulthood and feeling like a little girl having to rely on them for food and shelter because I failed on my first life goal. I'm struggling with feeling like a failure for not being able to find a job (although I admit I'm being picky) and therefore unable to fund my own living arrangements, guilty for having to impose on my parents during their empty-nester excitement/travel phase of life, and embarroussed when people ask me what I'm doing now and I don't really have anything to tell them. It stinks. 

It's been hard for my parents to adjust too. My parents let my brother move home after college and even his fiancé lived at my parents house before they bought a place of their own. Again, we're blessed that my parents gave us the option to move home and live free of rent. They've experienced having a child home again. Somehow though, the situation seems to infuriate me more.... Which makes me feel like even more of a child stomping her feet having a temper tantrum, making me more upset with myself in the end. Cue the failure, guilt and embarrassment feelings round two.

So now that I'm feeling awesome about myself, I want to escape. I want to go back to "my place," but one look at my room, the basement and the bonus room cramped with my stuff and I'm reminded that I don't have that escape anymore. I can outrun my frustration with my parents for a little while, but I always ending my saying something or snapping at the two people who have loved me and supported me every day of my life. Okay, now I really do feel like an ungrateful brat. I hope I've conveyed my love and gratefulness to my parents. Half of the reason I've worked so hard to maintain good grades and give back through philanthropies is to make my parents proud. Through their example and their high standards (athough they've never made me feel pressured to achieve so much), I've accomplished a lot in my 22 years. Yet, when it comes to the big life goals, I've failed not only myself, but my parents as well. I know that my mix of emotions will remain until I can prove to myself, my parents and my friends that I can make it in the real world and I've somehow repaid my parents for all they have given me. Until a land a job with a company I'm passionate about and get back on the life track that I've always strived for, I'm going to be dealing with this life-size sense of failure and working on some breathing exercises or something. 

Walking Under The Arch

Four years. Four years of school work, of late nights, of drama, of countless cups of coffee, of new friends, of philanthropy, of learning (both personal and academic), of life. All of this and so much more was running though my mind as I walked downtown after giving my final presentation of my college career this afternoon. As I approached The Arch, just like I had so many times before, part of me didn't want to walk under it. Walking through the pillars meant that college was really over... It's a little scary and daunting. It has been drilled into my mind to walk around The Arch for years, even before I began college. So, the fact that I was about to walk through it made me a little scared. Fists clenched and eyes closed, I finally walked under The Arch.

After that I was running figure eights through it! My group, whom I had just presented with in my final campaigns class, went and got a celebratory drink, but when I walked back by on the way to my car I was overcome with pride. It seems so trivial, walking under an arch, but for a UGA student and for me, it signifies so much of that dedication and determination over the four years when exhaustion never seemed to leave you. I still can't believe that I'm done, but what a ride it has been! All the work and late nights were worth it, just to walk under The Arch and graduate from The University of Georgia. I will forever bleed red & black! Go Dawgs!

Goodbye, Athens!

Today I moved out of my last college apartment.

There are so many mixed emotions with moving. Seeing all of my stuff, the things that are familiar and dear to me, shoved into the back of a car. It made me realize how much "stuff"I have, but also how insignificant possessions are in the grand scheme of things.
Then there are the friendships. I was blessed to have three very different, very supportive and very inspirational roommates this year. We were random roommates and it turned out to be one of the best, most eye-opening experiences of my college career.

Then there is the final drive through the town I called home for four years: Athens. I've done so much "growing up" in that town. I discovered organizations that fit my passions. I met new people and made wonderful new friends. I pushed myself to and beyond my limits in both my thoughts and actions. I celebrated the big 2-1 in Athens. I felt heartbreak and lose. Athens has been a journey, a struggle and a blessing to me. There were amazing times and there were times when I just wanted to runaway.

All in all, Athens has helped me to realize what I want in life. Any UGA grad you speak with will tell you about the glory days between the hedges, they'll tell you the crazy stories and they'll say without a doubt that Athens will always be their home. There is a passion that comes with Athens. Students, graduates, families, everyone loves Athens. I love Athens too. However, I am ready and excited to move on to bigger and better. Now just to figure out where the "bigger" and "better" is...

The alone feeling

Your roommate tells you that she wants to go out tonight, so you get ready while she's out to dinner with her boyfriend. When they get back and hang out for awhile, you're not surprised when you get a text from her saying that she doesn't feel like going out anymore. You scan your recent texts for someone, anyone who you could invite to go out. Scrolling. Scrolling. Nothing. They're either not in town or you're not close enough friends to call for a last minute night out. So instead you text your other roommate to vent. 

She's at a party and was a little overwhelmed about going because her ex was going to be there. After your vent, you ask how she's doing and ask if she needs some company--because at this point you just want to get out of your apartment to prove to your roommate that she's wrong and missing out by not going out. The party is overwhelming, so you go and pick up your roommate and drive downtown to grab a drink. 

Sitting at the high-top table, music blaring, nothing is off limits. Any baggage you were carrying is free game and so it comes out that your roommate feels like she has no friends and describes the exact recent text message scroll technique you did earlier. 

*Spoiler alert: this was my night and my roommates.*

Sitting there talking to my roommate and one of my best friends I realized that I'm not the only one who gets that alone feeling in the pit of my stomach. The gloom you get when you feel like you have no friends, no one close by to call on, no one to talk to.

It stinks and tears are almost a guarantee, but I've always felt that I was the only one who felt that way, who felt alone. But I realized tonight that my roommate, even standing in the middle of a crowded party, felt alone. I wish I could say that calling on God in these moments will make that feeling go away, but it's a very real feeling. Definitely call on and pray to God. He helps in more ways than you can ever imagine, but this loneliness feeling just sits there and grows. I don't know what the solution is. Maybe being more open with your friends or being honest about your feelings with your roommate when she ditches. But maybe it's just owning the fact that we all need to feel alone every once in awhile in order to feel loved and cherished our friends and family. Owning the feeling and praying about it... I'm going to try that combo next time. 

Why being single has been a blessing

I'm 22. In college years, that's old. It's time for me to move on and start my big girl life. Yet, I'm left dwelling on the past. For the majority of the past four years, my college years, I've been single. I've gone on dates, "talked" with a guy (the definition of which I'm still hazy on), and dated, but I have not had a serious relationship in college. Some jaws might drop at the idea of not having a serious boyfriend during this time, but I see it as one of the biggest blessings I've experienced to date.  

In the past four years, I've joined organizations, studied, experimented with style, learned the meaning of faith, made new friends, said goodbye to old relationships, built a photography business and held three internships. I've been busy, but I've also found myself. I finally know who I am right now in this moment. Before these years of self-discovery, I was a mirror. I watched, picked up on traits and sayings that were "cool" and reflected back these traits. I was being molded by the things that I thought were valued, the things that I thought people wanted to see. In actuality, I was becoming a junk pile of different people, hiding myself with other people's individuality. I was a sinking ship, heading nowhere fast. It was a slippery slope and I didn't even recognize it. 

I've learned. I've learned from heartbreak and adventure. I've learned from my leadership positions and my friends. The connection string through all of this is that I wasn't tied down to one person or thing. I was free to explore and discover. 

It's been a journey, starting with feeling alone. There came a point when I felt like I had no friends, no real friends at least. I was changing my personality and energy based on the people I was with, not based on how I felt. I was literally a twin of whoever I was with--I can't even imagine how annoying that must have been! I wanted people to like me and know me, but I wanted it for the wrong reasons. The real problem was that I didn't even know myself. I joined the clubs that I felt obligated to join instead of the ones that I was truly passionate about. 

Four years, especially the last two, I have been in a constant state of self-discovery. Now though, I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin. There are still moments where I want to bite my tounge or hide from embarrassment, but I am better equipped to handle these situations. While I value the guys that I've met and dated over the past few years, I know that I would still be searching for my true self if I have been in a serious relationship. I wouldn't have been on my own or been able to feel alone, which is where I finally began to uncover who I was and who I wanted to be. Do I sometimes wish that I had had a boyfriend and didn't have to ask around for a date for a sorority date night? Of course! It would have been so much easier, but I never would have figured out what I'm comfortable with or felt my heart beat a hundred miles an hour every time  I asked a guy on my sorority date night. It was moments like those that I found a new piece of myself. I cherish each piece of this crazy life puzzle. As an old 22 year old, I am finally ready to move forward, finally ready (and excited) to just be me. 

What are we missing?

Do you ever think about all that you're missing out on? Too depressing to think about? Let me put it a different way.... Have you ever had a stranger, a total rando say hello to you and instead of saying hello and asking his/her name, you just smile and walk (quickly) away? Have you ever seen someone in the grocery store who looks like they could use a little help reaching or carrying something? Yet, because you don't want t to be awkward or because it isn't necessarily your business, you don't offer to help? I hope by this point you're thinking, "Yep, guilty and guilty," because I know that I am.

So many times I avoid the unknown, whether it is helping a person at the store or starting a conversation with the person next to me on the bus. We, all of us, shy away from the unknown. It is not until the moments after I pass up the opportunity to make a new connection or help someone that I regret it. I regret not helping, not at least offering. For such extrovert who can talk to anyone, what am I afraid of? Thinking of how much more I could know if I had taken the opportunities to talk to all these new people, perhaps I should feel sad or even bad. Instead, I feel inspired; I feel encouraged to never let one of these opportunities pass me up again.

I just finished the movie Last Love. In the movie, a young girl befriends a widowed elderly man and they become dear friends. As I looked at the two of them, I couldn't help but reflect on my own life. All of my grandparents have passed away and I desperately miss their presence. I want that older and wiser person in my life again. Who knows, maybe that little old lady at the store, who can't quite reach the top shelf, could help restore that presence in my life. It's a happy thought and there is only one way to find out if I'm right... to rise about the potential awkwardness, the possible weird looks and the few minutes of time I might waste and offer my help. Just the thought makes me smile. One little gesture can make someone's day. Even if the little old lady doesn't need my help, at least I offered. At least I tried.

You have to live in order to write

I consider myself a writer. Yes, I prefer to jot random ideas down on a blog rather than start a novel, but writing is writing. I've suggested to many friends who always seem to be weighed down by their thoughts to start a blog. There is something extremely therapeutic about it: I have to channel and focus in on my thoughts to be able to make sense of them so others can understand them if/when they read my blogs. Anyways, I had a lazy night and turned on a random movie, which happened to be about a family of writers. In the movie, Stuck In Love, the father is a well-known author and his son and daughter are also aspiring writers. When the son gets flustered and jealous over his sister's book being published, his father sits down with him. He explains to his son that his sister is out living a life, finding adventure, putting her heart on the line and these experiences compelled and inspired her to write. The son, according to his dad, hasn't been living a life of love and excitement, which is why he's suffering writers block.

This scene struck me. Writers have to go out and live in order to have something to write about, motivation to write and an eagerness to put one's thoughts on paper. Normally, a blog post would just come to me. Something--be it a person or topic or situation--would happen and I would suddenly want and need to write to get the emotion off of my heart and organize my thoughts. It was powerful. It is powerful for me. Recently, however, I've suffered my own case of writers block. After I wrote my day-by-day account of my Italy trip and had that huge life experience, I feel as though nothing compares. I can't find the passion or desire to write.

I must have started five or six posts. Some don't have titles, some only have titles, but the desire to relinquish and open my thoughts hasn't been there. I don't have the interest, and that scares me. My blog and being about to express my thoughts has been a point of strength in my life. It has helped me sort though many confusing and emotional points in my life. As I prepare to move away from college and start my "grown-up" life, I should have enough emotions to fill post after post. That is why the line from Stuck In Love hit me like a brick. I haven't been exploring. I'm not talking about going to new restaurants and going to new places, I have been doing that. Rather, I'm talking about exploring me and who I am. I have to explore me before I will be able to go out a experience new things in life. One foot in front of the other, I'll figure "this" out.

Athens Bulldog Statues

As part of my UGA bucket list, I wanted to find all of the bulldog statues. All of the news articles and blogs that I have read said that there are 36 bulldogs, however I have counted/heard of 49. Below is the list of bulldogs that I know/heard of listed by location... Can you find them all?

Downtown Athens
1. BB&T (475 E. Broad St.)

2. Chastain Building (272 W. Hancock Ave.)

3. Biotest Pharmaceuticals (233 W. Hancock Ave.)

4. Thomas N. Lay Community Center & Park (297 Hoyt St.)

5. UGA Alumni Association Wray-Nicholson House (298 S. Hull St.)

6.* Classic Center (300 N. Thomas St.)
          NOTE: Normally this bulldog is inside at the top of the escalators, however they do put it in storage during large events.

7. Old Jittery Joe's Warehouse (across from 805 E. Broad St.)

Milledge Avenue Area
8. Five Points Eye Care (698 S. Milledge Ave.)

9. Silver & Archibald Milledge Offices (997 S. Milledge Ave.)

10. Georgia United Credit Union (1710 S. Lumpkin St.)

11. Jittery Joe's at Five Points (1230 S. Milledge Ave.)

12. UGA Foley Baseball Field (1 Rutherford St.)
          NOTE: Only accessible during baseball games. 

13. Memorial Park Playground (293 Glen Ellen Dr.)

14. UGA Golf Course (2600 Riverbend Rd.)
          NOTE: This dog is only brought out for special occasions. I had a friend who worked at the course.

Baxter Street
15. Baxter Street Bookstore (360 Baxter St.)

16. Bulldog Sporting Goods (1068 Baxter St.)

17. St. Mary's Hospital - just before you go into the Visitor's Parking Deck (1230 Baxter St.)

18. Athens-Clarke County Library (2025 Baxter St.)

East Side
19. Chick-fil-A (1870 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

20. Athens First Bank & Trust Co. (1855 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

21. Fire Station #7 (2390 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

Prince Avenue Area
22. Georgia Power (1001 Prince Ave.)

23. UGA Health Sciences Campus - in front of Winnie Davis Hall (HSC: 1425 Prince Ave, bulldog: intersection of Fox Rd. & Buck Rd.)

24. Power Partners, Inc. - just past Terrapin on the right (200 Newton Bridge Rd.)

25. AT&T Offices (2319 Prince Ave.)

26. Athens YMCA (915 Hawthorne Ave.)

27. Athens Family Dental (3380 Old Jefferson Rd.)

Broad St. to Atlanta Hwy
28. Steak n' Shake (2033 W. Broad St.)

          NOTE: There is a bulldog outside of I DO I DO Bridal Center (2045 W. Broad St.), however it is a wannabe bulldog statue. It's smaller and a different mold as the rest of these statues.

29. Robins Federal Credit Union (2636 Atlanta Hwy.)

30. American Pest Control, Inc. (3145 Atlanta Hwy.)

31. Dalton Carpet One Floor & Home (3690 Atlanta Hwy.)

32. Athens Church (10 Huntington Rd.)

33. Bulldog Kia (4305 Atlanta Hwy.)

34. Community & Southern Bank (3990 Atlanta Hwy, Bogart, GA 30622)

Inside UGA Buildings
35. Terrell Hall - 2nd floor, North Campus entrance (210 S. Jackson St.)

36. Terrell Hall - 1st floor,S. Jackson St. entrance (210 S. Jackson St.)

37. Aderhold Hall - Carlton St. entrance, bottom floor (110 Carlton St.)

38. Coliseum Training Facility - Carlton St. entrance, upstairs by a window (100 Smith St.)

39. College of Veterinary Medicine (1070 D. W. Brooks Dr.)

40. College of Pharmacy - inside the secretary's office (250 W. Green St.)

41. Graduate School Office (279 Williams St.)

42. UGA Visitor's Center (405 College Station Rd.)


Outside of Athens
43. Watkinsville Storage (67 Greensboro Hwy, Watkinsville, GA 30677)

44. Athens-Ben Epps Airport (1010 Ben Epps Dr.)

45. Southeast Clarke Park (535 Whit Davis Rd.)

46. Georgia Welcome Center (938 County Road 84, Lavonia, GA 30553)

47. Gnat's Landing (310 Redfern Village, St. Simons Island, GA 31522)

48. Blackwater Grill Parking Lot (260 Redfern Village, St. Simons Island, GA 31522)

49 Humane Society Penny Dawg (1619 Frederica Rd., St. Simons Island, GA 31522)


*Not sure if there is still a bulldog at this location

Finally at ease with me

Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your own skin? I'm not talking about feeling embarrassed or wishing to loose a few pounds. I'm talking about not knowing who you are, feeling lost in your daily life. I'm a planner; I like to have a schedule and know what's coming next. Yet, at such a big transition period in my life--going from college to the working world is taking me for a ride--I suddenly don't have a plan. I don't have it all figured out. My favorite part about this confession: I'm relishing in the excitement of the unknown. Who am I?!

When I went to Italy with my friend Kristi, it was spontaneous. We threw out the idea and three weeks later we were boarding a plane for two weeks in a country neither of us had been to. I was a mess at the airport prior to boarding that plane. We only had hotels planned; we didn't know what we were going to do each day, but we would "figure it out". As a planner, I have never done well with spontaneous. So, boarding that plane on May 12 to fly over the Atlantic Ocean and into the unknown was a test and, I passed. Kristi will attest that I had moments of frustration and defeat, the moments where I couldn't control the situation. However with her support and the reminder that the hardest part was getting on that plane, I adopted a roll-with-it attitude. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a fly by the seat of your pants type of person, but I am much better with and even enjoy doing things on a whim, on impulse.

Stepping on that plane and letting go of the agenda, of the research, of the control was the most liberating experience and it helped me discover the real me. I love adventure. I can't sit still for very long. I really dislike being bored. I love to walk and people watch. I'm an extrovert, but I enjoy listening. There's a certain comfort level that I have with myself after getting back from Italy. I can't attribute this new found ease to any one thing in particular, but I will say that there is something to be said about facing your fears. There is something to be said about pushing your own boundaries, your own limits to see what you are truly capable of. There is something to be said about being at ease with who you are and the confidence that comes with that knowledge. I am a follower of Christ, a daughter, a friend, a student (every day, in a classroom or not, is a learning experience). I am me; I am Megan. For the first time, I feel comfortable in my own skin and there is no better feeling!

My life isn't interesting enough for social media

Have you ever noticed that when you scroll down your Facebook News Feed post after post is about accepting a job offer, how wonderful a boyfriend or girlfriend is or showing off a new outfit in an edited photo? What about how Twitter has seemed to become a complaint outlet? Have you ever compared the number of likes on your Instagram photo to those of a friend, who seems to have the perfect lighting, background and smile in each and every post? We've all done it. We've sugarcoated our lives and our experiences so that we seem interesting to our "friends". You post a photo of a beautiful mountain top view with a bible verse or #blessing and say what a beautiful day it was when, in actuality, you sweated your butt off, skinned your knee and didn't even want to go on the hike in the first place. You get notification after notification of people liking your photo and you feel like you accomplished something that day. Sound at all familiar?

Have you ever sat down with a friend to catch up, but they interrupt you moments after you begin talking with "Oh, I think I saw that on Facebook!"After that comment, you're at a lose for words. They already know, because you share your experiences on social media. Here's my question: What's the point of face-to-face communication or having relationships if we have no personal life anymore? My generation, those younger than me and even some older folks have lost the idea of personal information. Everything is a post or tagline or hashtag now.

Are you thinking, "Oh, the PR major is telling me that I shouldn't post everything on social media? Hello, she just posted a day-by-day summary of her Italy trip, but I shouldn't post what I had for dinner? Yeah, ok." Was I close? Yes, I like to post on social media. I've grown up in it, it will most likely be a large part of my job, and I love to take and share photographs on social media. Here's the thing though, I'm not all that interesting. Today, I sat and watched five or six episodes of Scandal, ate way too much junk food and surfed the net. Fascinating stuff, right? The old me probably would have posted about how addicting the show is or some Olivia Pope quote. I know that I have a lot of Scandal loving friends, so I'm confident that it would have gotten a decent amount of likes and a handful of comments. I would log onto Facebook and see a little red notification flag in the corner. I'd be lying if I said that seeing that red flag wasn't a confidence booster. It is. It makes me (and I'm sure you as well) feel like people care about me and I you have to say. Instead of posting anything though, the new me was content to have my television marathon Monday and go to the gym. I was good. There was no reason to post.

While I was in Italy, I had a break from the constant buzzing and beeping of my phone. Although I posted a daily synopsis of what we had done (mainly so that I could remember and my parents could know that all was well), I loved that Italians aren't glued to their phones. They don't walk and text, walk and talk, talk and text, listen and text or any other type of phone multitasking. It was refreshing. They had something to talk about--and Italians love to talk and visit. For me, that is what is important in life: relationships and communication. I want to actually have a story to tell my friends when I see them, a story that they have not already heard about via social media. I want to sit down with my friends and be present, which means my phone remains in my purse and not on the table. I want the person I'm speaking with to look me in the eye so that I know they're listening; I don't have to take their word for it because their looking at their phone while I'm talking. I'm guilty of all of these things, but I'm done. I'm done with sugarcoating my life just to see a red notification flag when I log into Facebook. I'm done multitasking with my phone. I'm done telling my friends "happy birthday" on Facebook--if they are truly my friend, they deserve a phone call on their birthday. I want to restore the meaning of personal communication... so don't be surprised if I call you, or give me a call; we can catch up!

Day 14: The "Lasts"

With today being out last day in Italy, we got in our "last" everything: our last monuments, our last balsamic vinaigrette and bread craving, our last gelato--although Kristi skipped this gelato and I had two cones, typical. We woke up kind of early today, although we didn't have any place to be, but we also didn't want to sleep away our last day in Italy. 

Our waiter gave us regular croissants this morning, which wasn't cool. We've been getting chocolate or jelly filled for the past two days; we were spoiled. We were laughing though, because for breakfast, we eat a croissant and two slices of bread with jam... Breakfast of Italian champions, I guess. 

We took new and different streets, just to explore, to get to the Trevi Fountain. We each threw in two coins (right hand over left shoulder, as the tradition goes): one means that we'll return to Rome and two means that we'll find love. We then headed to the Spanish Steps and then to the Pantheon for photos. We went back to a little piazza where we are dinner and happened upon a Sunday market. We explored the market and then just walked around, ducking in and our of shops, getting lost and discovering new fountains and ruins throughout the city. 

For dinner, we followed our noses and ate at a snack bar (this was actually on accident), but the food was delicious!! It was the first time this trip, I'm ashamed to say, that I got fish! We finished up the night with packing our suitcases. As much as we've loved Italy and don't want to say goodbye, we're so ready to be home with our families, in our own beds, where we don't have to use outlet converters and can wash (and dry) our clothes and where bread isn't a meal. It's been a fun two weeks. We've had highs and lows, hot and cold days, but it has been an adventure neither of us (or our parents, I'm sure) will forget. Italy stole our hearts, but our home will always be with the people we love the most! 

Day 13: Pompeii & Naples

Today was our day trip to Pompeii! We took the 6:26am train. We barely made the train (sensing a pattern here), because we forgot our snacks at the B&B so I ran (literally) back, grabbed the snacks and then we ran--we're talking a full on sprint-- to our train. We made it though and that's all that matters! After the hour train ride, we switched to a chater bus... Let me pause here and say that driving is organized chaos in Italy. Whoever has more guts, or the bigger car, wins. Our bus was going down narrow streets and weavin in and out of parked cars with ease. Then there was the fact that we were driving on cobble stone streets. It was an experience.

After another little train ride, we finally arrived to Naples (or Napoli as they call it in Italian)! We got a little turned around when we were trying to find the entrance to the Pompeii site and an older gentleman wearing a hat, walking with a cane and carrying a National Geographic magazine, hollered at us and walked with us to the correct street. It was the cutest thing! We bought our tickets and headed into the site. 

The preservation of the site is amazing! From poetry to tables to artwork on the walls of homes, the volcanic ash preserved the site so well. Between the guide we received with our ticket, Kristi's knowledge and Rick Steve's walking tour, we got a really good feel for what we were seeing and what like was like back in 79 A.D.

They had "fast food" bars, where people would walk up on the street and buy food which was kept hot/cold in inlaid bowls in the counter. We were able to see the holes in the sidewalk outside the bars where the owners would place poles to stretch material over the sidewalk to create shade for their customers. They also had an amazing canal system. They raised their sidewalks to cover lead pipes carting water throughout the town to homes, bathes and drinking fountains. The water that ran down the streets was more like sewage, so they put hop scotch stones in the street so people could cross, but they left just enough room for carts to pass through. They also inlaid white, shimmery stones in their sidewalks that caught the moonlight and lit up the streets so that they could see at night. 

While the casts with the most details aren't pictured here, the bodies were actually really interesting. I was surprised to see that two of the five bodies we saw were actually pretty big, showing hight. It was fascinating to see how the people shuttered, curled into a ball or shielded their faces as the ash came raining down on them.

I could go on and on about Pompeii, but seeing as I'm typing these blog posts out on my phone, I'm going to leave it to the photos to show the rest. For dinner we stopped in Naples, the birthplace of pizza, and got a take away pizza at the so called original pizza place. They only have two kinds: margarita and marinara. This was the pizza place where Julie Roberts the in the movie Eat, Pray, Love. It was so delicious! We are at the train station and unintentionally did every possible insulting thing... We were wearing shorts and workout clothes; we ate pizza with our hands; we were laughing kind of loudly. Sorry, Naples. We were just really hungry.