Thursday, April 30, 2015

Anonymity

Writing used to come so easily to me. It started as just a thought and, instead of letting it slip my mind and end as just a thought, I'd explore. Dig in and look at it from every angle. My ability and desire to write a post slowly started to dwindle the more time I spent in the corporate world. Knowing that my boss or peers could jump on my blog at any time made me think twice about posting. Perhaps it was just the atmosphere of my first job or perhaps it goes deeper into outgrowing my college-self, but I didn't want everyone to know what I was thinking.

I started going to a bible study. I'm better understanding His word.
I didn't like my first job out of college. I learned a lot though.
I searched for a job for five months. It was disheartening and felt endless.
I gave up Facebook for Lent. I didn't miss it.
I started a new job. I got to tell friends face-to-face, not via social media about it.
I moved into my own apartment. I felt free.
That job I started. I love it.
God is good. He's working in my life every day.

So much has changed. I started this blog my freshmen year of college as an escape, as a way to let off steam. It helped. It got me in trouble once or twice, but overall I was able to write what was on my mind and move on. This blog has chronicled summer internships, trips overseas, losses and visions for the future. I've loved it; seeing my crazy thoughts and dreams come to life. I'm thankful for that late night during freshmen year when I didn't want to study for a test, so I decided to write about my detest for the class. My procrastination for school turned into an amazing outlet for me.

Although I don't think anyone really keeps up or reads my blog,--and I'm ok with that--I felt a certain obligation to "close it out" or "wrap it up". I've taken to journaling and keeping my thoughts for myself. My writing is still powerful and a worthwhile outlet for me, but now it's just mine. I don't have to tweet about it or post a link. It's just for my benefit; it's personal. Privacy and anonymity is powerful; I think our society has forgotten that.