Friday, October 28, 2011

Drowning

You know that feeling that you get when you have finally entered hell week? You have multiple exams, a project to work on, social things to keep up with, and a few meetings to go to. This is my definition of hell week. Now, multiply all of that by 9. This is my life. I have not had a chill week since the 3rd week of school. Frankly, I'm exhausted! Every time that I think I'll get a break, a chance to breath, another wave of exams hits and I am swallowed by the stress to preform.
What's harder is that I haven't even been doing well on my exams. I would be able to survive if I was at least doing well on my exams, but I am constantly making high 70s or low 80s on everything. I don't know where to go or what to do. I've never had a problem with school, this is a first. I know that there is more that I can do, but when I try to add on more studying, a remember that I have to give a speech on the same day.
My parents know that I am struggling, but I don't think they realize that I am almost HOPEless. I am scared for my grades, my financial aid, and my future. I know that I am making a bigger deal out of a bad test score, but after multiple bad grades in multiple exams, I think that I deserve to freak out a little. So this is my call for help. I am drowning in college and there is no life line in sight. I just have to wait for the waves to stop or slow down, but I'm concerned that they never will. This is life and I have yet to catch up.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What did he just say?

Imagine. You're sitting on your couch, watching an interview and the athlete/model/actress/CEO starts on a rant and just keeps going and going and going. Your jaw drops a little more as the time tics on. When he or she finally stops, there is that awkward moment that follows due to everyone's utter shock. In that moment, while I'm thinking "Oh my goodness" and questioning if I just dreamt the past few minutes, one word comes to mind: brat. I feel that the majority of the people who are extremely blessed with money, fame, talent, etc. take it for grated. Many give off the air of entitlement to the next pay check or publicity, when really they should be thanking the mass public for supporting them or buying a ticket to their movie. 
Where is the world going? I admit that I complain about a bad hair day or a difficult exam, but a) I'm not ranting on national television and b) I realize how infinitely blessed I am. My mom emailed me a link to a video of Kirk Cousins, the Michigan State quarterback. He called out the athletes in particular on their sense of entitlement and he made so much sense. He left me with a dropped jaw due to his composure and systematic thinking. He is the type of person that parents can feel good about having their kids look up to. His idea of fame and talent made so much sense and it made me want him to succeed that much more. His good looks sure didn't hurt his case, but you could tell by his emotion and body language that he wasn't aware of his looks or status. He was concerned with giving a speech that would encourage athletes to act better and with purpose. He's a good guy and... I hear he's single! Watch his speech below. It's long, but it only gets better as the minutes go on!


Friday, October 7, 2011

Connecting the Dots

With one thing after the other, life is full of decisions. Some decisions are minuscule, some, though, are monumentally large. Yet, no matter the size, situation, or circumstances, we all must decide what our next step is in this crazy thing we call life. Growing up, I was very blessed. My parents were loving and encouraging; my brother, although sometimes mean to his younger sister, always looked after me; my life was good, wholesome, and a blessing. I use the past tense, but all of these things are still true and I know with all my heart that I am infinitely blessed.
Even with this knowledge and understanding, I still face the decisions that will distinguish me from others and undoubtedly lay the ground work for my future. I know everyone goes through this time in their lives and that it always seems to happen at inconvenient times and usually during college. The good ole "It's just part of growing up" speech has been on replay in my mind for the past few months. It seems that everywhere I turn I am being questioned about my next move and my goals. As human beings, we love talking about ourselves. I'm not an exception, but these conversations are unnerving because I have no definite answer to give. I'm still deciding what I want to major in, what my dream job is, where I want to go on study abroad this summer, and, even as small as, what I'm doing next week. The list goes on and differs for all of us. We all have distinct sub-points under the major themes of life, but, somehow, we all cross off these points eventually.
My belief is that we come across major decisions in life when we are faltering from the path that the Lord has set for us. It's his way of saying "are you sure you know what you're doing and that you're doing the right thing?" He wants us to turn to him and ask what we should do, and only then will we know what we're supposed to do and what our true destination in life is. I think that Steve Jobs, the creator of Apple, explained it best when he gave the commencement speech at Stanford University. He said, "You cannot connect the dots looking forward in life, but, if you believe that they'll connect down the road, you'll be able to follow your heart even when you drift off the well worn path." Putting faith in the future is hard and scary, but the Lord is watching us every moment of our lives, without question. If you don't find what you are looking for, "keep looking, and don't settle."