Have you ever felt that line between complete serenity and reality? I did this morning. I was sitting on the back porch of the beach house that my friends and I are renting for spring break. It was sunny, but cold; I was curled up in a chair with yoga pants and a fuzzy sweatshirt reading Tuesdays With Morrie. I stopped reading for a moment, closed my eyes and tilted my head towards the sun.
As I sat there all alone with nothing in particular on my mind, I fell into a peaceful state. The wind blew through my hair and against my face. I could hear the ocean waves crashing against the white sandy beach just over the sand dunes. It was there, with my eyes closed and nothing on my mind that I felt completely at peace. Yet, on the other side of the house, I could hear a bulldozer beeping as it backed up. It was this strange balance between ultimate relaxation and reality. The sound of the ocean was pulling me toward surrendering my worries and doubts to the wind, to carry them far away. Then the buzzing of construction workers reminded me that I still have responsibilities and uncertainty in my life. It was a cruel tug of war game on my heart and mind.
The desires that I have to make a difference and impact the lives of others is so real, yet the struggles and hardships of life stand before me like a brick wall. I've climbed over many of these walls before and I am confident that I will in the future. Yet, these walls are still luminous in their size and structure. The moments of complete peace that I felt this morning sitting on my porch help keep me in motion. They remind me that although we are going through these defining, sometimes difficult, moments, we have the option to be at complete peace with God, ourselves and others if we so choose. It is choosing to be happy and serene that is the most challenging part. It is a hard decision, because life makes it hard to always be at peace. Temptation, jealousy and anger are always looming. Remembering to hear the ocean through the construction of those brick walls is the goal of my days and thoughts. It's a way of life and a way to lead a happy life. I choose that life, the life with The Lord as my light, and with that, I am at peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment