Angels Around Us

I thought I'd never see this day. My grandmother on oxygen and taking medications. She is still healthy, but has liquid in her lungs which cases her to have trouble breathing and not have an appetite. My grandmother is always doing something for her children, grandchildren, or friends. She is creative, full of inspiring stories and ideas, and so very loving. I know that everyone says this about their grandparents, but I can see the Lord's word coming to life through my grandma. And that, makes her one of a kind.

I had the privilege to spend a few days over my spring break at her house alone: just me and her. With 10 kids, 24 grandchildren, and lots of neighbors, being alone with Gram is rare. In those few days, we spoke a lot about my college life and my late grandfather, but we mostly spoke about faith and God. Her expression changed to one of peace and understanding as our discussion grew. The room and atmosphere had changed. The Lord had entered our conversation. God himself settled in on the couch next to my grandma and wrapped his arms around her. There was no war, grief, or outside world when we were speaking. There was only peace, forgiveness, faith, and God.

Call me crazy, but I truly believe that I saw the Lord in those discussions with my grandma. The past was simply God's plan coming to fruition. The future was our prayers being answers. Death was the ultimate blessing. Family was a support system to love God more. She helped to remind me that each day is already planned for us by the Lord. He has our whole life figured out for us so that we don't have to stress about it. He has a plan, so we can just enjoy His company and serve Him. It's a wonderful thing to keep in mind.

Disappointment Will Never Be Fun

     It's a little ironic after my last post, with how confident and excited I was, that I didn't even get a second round interview. Murphy's Law, right? The more you want something, the less likely you are to actually get it. I can't lie, I cried when I saw the word "unfortunately" in the email. Everything in my life seems to be in place, so being able to give back in such a huge way would have been a blessing. It also doesn't help that the email looked eerily similar to the rejection email I got ten months ago. It's a tough pill to swallow: "Thanks, but no thanks" x2.
     As hard as it is, I refuse to let this set me back for long--although there will be a mourning/junk food period for at least a day or two. My mother called me a little before I received the email to tell me that the daughter of an old neighbor passed away this morning. She was a freshman in college. She suffered a brain hemorrhage last night, was air lifted to the hospital, had emergency surgery, and passed away this morning. As I sit here crying about not getting asked back to an interview, I can't help but think of this family who has suffered a much greater loss than I did. She had no pre-existing conditions, yet when God says it's time, it's time.
     The Lord will provide. He knocks us down again and again to rid us of our personal desires and wants and allow us to hear his word. I'm not saying it's easy. The mascara streaks on my cheeks from my tears are proof that disappointment and being told "no" stinks. It's not fun, ever. The Lord has a plan though and I pray like crazy that there is some exciting and happy emails coming my way soon, but, until then, I have to be ok with what He give me. Nothing more, nothing less.

His Guiding Hand

     I am going to warn you up front, this post might be a little longer than any other I have written. Why? Well I felt the Lord touch my life in a big way today and it just keeps snowballing into bigger and better things. I am amazed; I love it; I have to share!
     First thing's first. I turned in my application to become a Visitors Center (VC) Tour Leader yesterday! Woo-hoo!!! I am so freakin' pumped! Just the opportunity to go back into the VC and talk to the amazing people that work there gets me excited! I'm so blessed!  Anyways, the application included a one page essay with the topic, "What's your story?" My first thought: You have got to be kidding me. I love writing--hello, I have a blog!--but I have never been good at writing without any specific directions. Last week, I was telling my dad about how frustrated I was that I couldn't think of a good "story," and mid-sentence a thought popped into my mind. What if I wrote about my Tour Leader application experience from January? Finally a stroke of genius (well, for me at least)!
     You see, I have applied for this position once before. I made it to second round interview and I felt so at home at the VC that I was sure I would get it. God had different plans for me. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to show how much I had grown as a person since then so, I wrote how not getting the position allowed me to become fully engrossed in my leadership certificate classes and leadership positions. At first, it was hard at to revisit the feeling of rejection but, in the end, I fell really good about my application essay.
     So then today happens. I get out of class and head for the restroom. The door seemed heavier than normal and so I pushed a little harder... A girl in line for a stall had been leaning against it. I smiled and apologized making some comment about how small the bathroom was or something. As I pulled my other book bag strap onto my shoulder, the girl who had been leaning on the door asked me if I went here (aka this awesome university I get to call home). Her mother was next to her and I asked them a ton of questions about where they were from, how they were liking campus, etc. They in turn asked me a lot of questions about my major, life in college, different organizations and so on. It turns out that another mother-daughter duo was in the bathroom too and the five of us chatted for a few minutes. The one girl was interested in PR (my major!) and the other was interested in the pre-vet program. They were juniors in high school and so excited about the process that lay ahead of them. I desperately wished that I could hop on their tour bus and show them around campus (class really gets in the way sometimes).
     It hit me as I walked out of the bathroom that throughout our entire conversation, I had felt God's hand on my shoulder. He had walked me into that bathroom at the exact moment that I needed to and ran (literally) into this mother-daughter pair. I had the biggest, silliest, teeth-baring grin on my face for a solid 15+ minutes after that. I couldn't help it. Speaking to those two girls made me so happy and excited for their future. It was amazing. Hands down, it was an awe-inspiring moment of realization. I knew that my passion to become a Tour Leader is still burning bright inside of me and I am beyond ready for the rest of the application process to begin.
     Now the other part of this story... As I sat down to write this post and I got to thinking about if I had written a post when I received the rejection email in January. So I looked; I had! Rereading that blog post, I was amazed at my positivity throughout it. It was a gratifying feeling to see and know that I am happy and really living out a life that I can be proud of. It's pretty cool to see how far I have come in my own development as a person, leader, and follower of Christ. He has everything laid out for my future and I am so excited to see all that He has planned! What a day!

Keep Your Rolodex Well Tended

     I had the privilege of introducing Mr. Earl Leonard to my leadership class a few days ago. Upon receiving his biography, I knew that we were in for a special treat. Mr. Leonard is a UGA grad, has founded and held leadership positions in many organizations, and worked at Coca-Cola for 35 years, 16 of which he headed the Corporate Affairs Division. Not too shabby, huh? The coolest part of his bio was that he is the original benefactor for the leadership certificate program that I am a part of. He gave us do's and don'ts of life and leadership. I took a whole page of notes, but here are the most important things that I took away from his time with my class. I had to share, because the list below is full of great reminders and insights for life. Enjoy!

• God is in the details of all you do, so focus on the details first.
• Nothing is worth doing if it's not done with integrity.
• Never miss an opportunity to tell people how important they are.
• People will forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
• Listen more. You can never learn is you're doing all the talking.
• Life is a one act play. There are no encores. 
• Never center your life around a job. Who will you be when that job is gone?
• Don't be a workaholic. Have fun in life.
• It's nice to be important, but it's far more important to be nice.
• Ask yourself, "Am I happy? Or am I just pretending like I am?"
• Make a list of the things you want to do in life and remember to actually do them.
• Ask yourself, "What is my responsibility to the less fortunate?"
• Remember that it's not what you take from life... It's what you give.
• Know a little about a lot of things (language, religion, etc.)
• Consciously create a different, special, and better persona. Be interesting! 
• Ingredients of success: ability, having people who want you to succeed, and luck.
• Your boss already knows your abilities/successes. It's the other people you should get to know.
• Add 2-3 contacts to your rolodex every day. Keep in touch and really care about every contact you've made. Send them cards, call them, etc. 
• Never underestimate someone.
• Dedication and determination are important to succeed, but you have to have some fun too.
• Things that should endure have a way of enduring.

Radiating Joy

     In one of my classes today, my professor posed the question: Can any of you really think of a time that you felt purely happy? She continued to say that we usually feel complete happiness when we get our way or accomplish some huge personal obstacle. Of course, I had to raise my hand and share my opinion on the subject. I said something along the lines of "there is so much pressure put on us to achieve out-of-this-world, lofty, sometimes unattainable goals that it's almost impossible for us to feel happy unless we are the one in a million that discovers the cure to cancer or solves a controversial business/national/world problem. We're taught that if we're wrong, do something incorrectly, or, to put it plainly, fail, then we can't be happy. It's just a social norm and cultural idea that we learn at a young age."
    In the class after that one, my professor asked everyone to write down a conflict or problem that we were facing in each of our lives. We needed to write down a problem so that we could evaluate, work through, and uncover the causes of the problem. I promise, I did try, but I could not come up with a problem. I ended up choosing a small, trivial issue that I have just come to accept as part of life. I know that I am a compromiser and an accommodating person when it comes to conflict. I want other people to be happy and prefer to accept someone else's idea than fight for my own in order to keep the peace. Yes, if it is an important issue or will have serious consequences for me or someone else, I'll fight for what is right, but otherwise, I'm a people pleaser.
     So back to the first question, Can any of you really think of a time that you felt purely happy? Yes, I can. In fact, I have many instances every day where I feel completely happy and content. Just today I felt completely happy when I turned in my OL application, talked to my dear friend for awhile, leisurely went grocery shopping, and took some photos. It's not a matter of if you ever feel happy, but whether or not you appreciate that moments throughout your days that make you smile. Everything in your life doesn't have to be perfect for you to be happy. It's the little things in life that make the difference and learning to embrace and celebrate those have made all the difference in my life. It's amazing how striving to find the positive in every situation can make you so happy that your enthusiasm for life becomes contagious. Who doesn't want to be the joyous person that people want to be around constantly?

Rediscovery

     I will be the first to admit that my faith has faltered over the past few months. I felt so close to the Lord at the end of last year and over the summer, but now, as I fill out applications for jobs where I would serve and help others, I feel lost. I reach for God's word and feel distracted and disconnected. Yet, even with this feeling of detachment, I still believe with my whole heart that the Lord has a plan for my life and he is watching over me. We all go through these times of unrest and confusion; we feel more distant from the Lord, but somehow we always find a way back.
     For me, I am strengthening my relationship with the Lord by rereading A Voice In The Wind. Call me crazy that a book can help me rediscover my immense faith, but I truly believe that it can. The book is set about 40 years after Christ died and rose from the dead, so Christianity is still very much in its infancy. Hadassah, the main character, watches as her family dies, suffers as she is enslaved, and serves diligently to Romans who believe in stone gods. She prays for the people that threw her into slavery and truly believes that she was put in the lives of these Romans to serve them and bring Christ to their lives. In the book, she just visited the Apostle John, who walked with Christ and knew him as he was in the flesh. She asked John who she could make her masters understand and come to Christ. John said that even with Jesus standing right in from of him, he still didn't understand who he was or what he said. He struggled in grasping the mightiness and unfaltering love that Jesus extended to him.
     I know that it is just a book, but these passages give me understanding and conviction in the Lord's presence in my life. We all, even John, stumble, fall, and don't understand the plans that God has for us.  When I think of my life thus far, I am humbled. I have had a life of abundant blessings and I am so thankful for the Lord walking with me even when I don't realize He's holding my hand. I am in the process of completing applications for many positions that call me to nurture and serve my university. I feel such a strong pull to these positions that it is almost unnatural. I took me until this morning to realize that my desire to help others isn't to satisfy my own needs, but to serve the Lord by serving others. God wants to touch these people and I have the opportunity to be that link. It's a humbling feeling. I don't know how I became so blessed, but I won't let these opportunities pass. I am so excited to serve others to thus serve God. I will forever be amazed by His plans for my life. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me." (John 14:1)

My Calling

     We often hear highly successful people talk about finding their "calling" early in life. It could be a student using a camera for the first time and feeling this instant draw towards photography. It could be a child watching his mother fight cancer and he discovers his passion for science/human research. Any moment, something inside of us can be triggered and our lives can be transformed. We can instantly feel a calling so strong that our lives readjust and focus on this one interest to the point of complete submersion. How and when we discover this desire and hope for our lives looks, feels, and develops differently for every person.
     My question is: how do we know if we've discovered our calling? I have felt many strong desires to intern with a company, apply for different leadership positions, and take risks to understand who I am and what I want out of life. Are one of those instances, organizations, or causes my lifelong calling?
     I was nominated for positions in my sorority of high honor. I had to decide whether to take one of those positions and dedicate the next year to my sorority, or to take a lesser position so that I could pursue my interests elsewhere. I called my dad (aka the voice of reason) and he asked me to describe the sorority positions that I was considering. Without realizing it, I deviated from the actual question and ended up talking my passion to give back and help others. I spoke about my desire to be an Orientation Leader (OL) to help and guide incoming freshmen. I spoke for a solid few minutes about how important the OL opportunity was to me--which would prevent me from pursuing a larger sorority position--and when I stopped for a moment to breathe I realized that I had already made up my mind... I was going to forgo a position of higher rank, so that I could pursue my passion to help others. My chances of becoming an OL are 1 in 1,000  (although I hope that I receive the position), but I have to try and I can feel in my heart that this is my calling.
     My calling is to help others, in any way that I can. I have been given so many opportunities, some that I have taken and some that I've passed up, but all of them have led me to this point. I am here for a reason and I can somehow feel that I can make a difference. Even if this calling lasts for just a few months or a year, my calling to help others will always be there. For me, that seems "right" enough.