It's a little ironic after my last post, with how confident and excited I was, that I didn't even get a second round interview. Murphy's Law, right? The more you want something, the less likely you are to actually get it. I can't lie, I cried when I saw the word "unfortunately" in the email. Everything in my life seems to be in place, so being able to give back in such a huge way would have been a blessing. It also doesn't help that the email looked eerily similar to the rejection email I got ten months ago. It's a tough pill to swallow: "Thanks, but no thanks" x2.
As hard as it is, I refuse to let this set me back for long--although there will be a mourning/junk food period for at least a day or two. My mother called me a little before I received the email to tell me that the daughter of an old neighbor passed away this morning. She was a freshman in college. She suffered a brain hemorrhage last night, was air lifted to the hospital, had emergency surgery, and passed away this morning. As I sit here crying about not getting asked back to an interview, I can't help but think of this family who has suffered a much greater loss than I did. She had no pre-existing conditions, yet when God says it's time, it's time.
The Lord will provide. He knocks us down again and again to rid us of our personal desires and wants and allow us to hear his word. I'm not saying it's easy. The mascara streaks on my cheeks from my tears are proof that disappointment and being told "no" stinks. It's not fun, ever. The Lord has a plan though and I pray like crazy that there is some exciting and happy emails coming my way soon, but, until then, I have to be ok with what He give me. Nothing more, nothing less.
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