The pressures of the world surround us. Strength, anger, perfection, competition... The list could go on. And every day we are called to rise above those pressures and to call upon the Lord for guidance and comfort.
We all know people who unknowingly test us. They can just walk into the room and our nerves suddenly surge. Your contempt for them seems to radiant from your body and you barely mumble responses to simply avoid them at all costs. Do you know that feeling? I know this is a little dramatic, but when you are in the moment, you feel these emotions so vividly that they consume your whole being.
I was tested by one of these people today and I just about snapped. Everyone has their boiling point and I was about to let off some steam. Thankfully, that's when the Lord stepped in. He ushered her out of the room and left me alone with Him to pray. Just as quickly as my negative emotions blurred my thoughts, the Lord wrapped His arms around me. That is when I broke. Even with all of that anger inside of me, He still offers me a shoulder to cry on and an arm to steady myself when I get back up and dust off.
This isn't a long, thought provoking post. In fact, my point is simply that the Lord loves us. He forgives the things that we hate most about ourselves and wraps us in kindness and light. We are so incredibly blessed and we have to remember to never take Him for granted. We can also never be scared to come back to Him when we loose our footing on the path of life. He has our back and He'll forgive us of all our trespasses (thank goodness!). And that is as simple as it gets.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
Blue Vestin' It
Good news, y'all! I'm a Gamma Chi!!! I get to run around and help the girls going through sorority recruitment in August. I will be in charge of a group of girls and I will try to help them navigate the first few days/weeks/months of college and Greek life. I'm beyond excited! During recruitment, the Gamma Chi's wear blue vest to designate who they are. The blue vests have turned into a competition: who can decorate their vest the best? Everyone usually pins buttons on the front, but the backs are all unique. My ideas immediately began to run wild. I could do my monogram, something UGA related, but then I'd want to buy a bedazzle gun, but that could get expensive... The ideas just kept coming and getting more and more outlandish as I kept thinking.
This is where I had to stop myself and ask, "what do I want to portray to others?" It was almost a "who am I?" moment. I have to find and choose buttons that represent my likes and interests and convey my personality to others. That's a lot for a little pin to say. I searched my house for old pins and found a really embarrassing soccer pin with my picture on it as well as a few skiing pins. I also went to a thrift store downtown and found some awesome band pins. What I've come to realize though is that the vest itself is convey a message, not just the pins.
I had to beat out over 200 girls for the opportunity to wear that vest. I'm going to stay up late and get up early, put out "fires," call girls when they don't get asked back to any houses and act as a friend and mentor to my group. My blue vest says that I'm dedicated and willing to help others. When I wear the vest, though, it's my actions and words that show who I really am. So, when I don that blue vest in a few months, I am going to show God's love through my words and actions. The Lord's word can convey who I am better than any pin. I am still going to show up on the first day of recruitment with a fully decorated vest, but it's reminder (although cheesy) that it's what is on the inside that really matters.
This is where I had to stop myself and ask, "what do I want to portray to others?" It was almost a "who am I?" moment. I have to find and choose buttons that represent my likes and interests and convey my personality to others. That's a lot for a little pin to say. I searched my house for old pins and found a really embarrassing soccer pin with my picture on it as well as a few skiing pins. I also went to a thrift store downtown and found some awesome band pins. What I've come to realize though is that the vest itself is convey a message, not just the pins.
I had to beat out over 200 girls for the opportunity to wear that vest. I'm going to stay up late and get up early, put out "fires," call girls when they don't get asked back to any houses and act as a friend and mentor to my group. My blue vest says that I'm dedicated and willing to help others. When I wear the vest, though, it's my actions and words that show who I really am. So, when I don that blue vest in a few months, I am going to show God's love through my words and actions. The Lord's word can convey who I am better than any pin. I am still going to show up on the first day of recruitment with a fully decorated vest, but it's reminder (although cheesy) that it's what is on the inside that really matters.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Waterworks
We've all played Monopoly. You either love it because you always win, or you hate it because the game lasts forever (and then you usually forfeit and lose because the game is taking so long). It's a love/hate game. I haven't played it in a few years, but I was reminded of it tonight in many ways.
Over the past few months (really weeks), I have been trying to sort out my living situation for next year. It has been an emotional roller coaster: I haven't been able to find a place and a group of people that I feel comfortable with. It's either the location or the parking, the bedroom size or the price. I just can't seem to nail down any contenders. Yesterday I went to see a friend's apartment and today I went to see another apartment whose tenants need another roommate. Neither place felt right. When I called my mom tonight, I lost it. We are talking Niagara Falls flowing out of my eyes. My body was quivering and I could barely get a word out.
When I hung up the phone and cried some more, I finally felt lighter. Yes, I was a mess: mascara streaks rolling down my cheeks, eyes red and puffy, and a full box of tissues emptied. Something in my sobs and "breakdown" gave me some relief to the stress and anxiety that I've been feeling for months about an apartment for next year. I was finally showing emotion. I had held in my uneasiness and stress and worries. I told my friends that I was "fine" and that I was "confident that my living situation would work out." I was a strong and confident person on the inside, while I crumbled to pieces on the inside. My emotions had to come out and it felt wonderful to release that burden.
So how does this all relate to Monopoly? Whenever I talk about crying, I refer to it as waterworks, like the utility property on the board game. The interesting thing about Waterworks on the game is that it is two spaces before Go To Jail. It's so close to ruining your game and sending you to jail, yet you still have a chance to roll the dice and continue on. Tonight, I felt like I landed on Waterworks (and I still have the red eyes to prove it): I was so close to letting my roommate search overwhelm me and send me into freak out mode (or jail, so to speak). Landing on Waterworks and getting some of my emotions out allowed me to empty my heart of some of the negativities of the past few months. It has allowed me to skip going to jail and will hopefully help me to stand up to the next obstacle in my path.
I'm still roommate-less for next year, but I count my emotional night as a blessing and I am ready to see what the Lord has in store for me (fingers crossed for Boardwalk or Park Place).
Over the past few months (really weeks), I have been trying to sort out my living situation for next year. It has been an emotional roller coaster: I haven't been able to find a place and a group of people that I feel comfortable with. It's either the location or the parking, the bedroom size or the price. I just can't seem to nail down any contenders. Yesterday I went to see a friend's apartment and today I went to see another apartment whose tenants need another roommate. Neither place felt right. When I called my mom tonight, I lost it. We are talking Niagara Falls flowing out of my eyes. My body was quivering and I could barely get a word out.
When I hung up the phone and cried some more, I finally felt lighter. Yes, I was a mess: mascara streaks rolling down my cheeks, eyes red and puffy, and a full box of tissues emptied. Something in my sobs and "breakdown" gave me some relief to the stress and anxiety that I've been feeling for months about an apartment for next year. I was finally showing emotion. I had held in my uneasiness and stress and worries. I told my friends that I was "fine" and that I was "confident that my living situation would work out." I was a strong and confident person on the inside, while I crumbled to pieces on the inside. My emotions had to come out and it felt wonderful to release that burden.
So how does this all relate to Monopoly? Whenever I talk about crying, I refer to it as waterworks, like the utility property on the board game. The interesting thing about Waterworks on the game is that it is two spaces before Go To Jail. It's so close to ruining your game and sending you to jail, yet you still have a chance to roll the dice and continue on. Tonight, I felt like I landed on Waterworks (and I still have the red eyes to prove it): I was so close to letting my roommate search overwhelm me and send me into freak out mode (or jail, so to speak). Landing on Waterworks and getting some of my emotions out allowed me to empty my heart of some of the negativities of the past few months. It has allowed me to skip going to jail and will hopefully help me to stand up to the next obstacle in my path.
I'm still roommate-less for next year, but I count my emotional night as a blessing and I am ready to see what the Lord has in store for me (fingers crossed for Boardwalk or Park Place).
Friday, January 11, 2013
A "Simpler" Time
I have recently--as in last night and all this morning--become obsessed with the show Downton Abbey. The show takes place in the early 1900s, where the women still wear dresses every day and the wealthy have servants to handle everything for them. Upon hearing the first conversation on the show, I fell in love with the character's English accents and "simple" way of life. Each servant seemed happy to work for the family; the family seemed to have their lives all buttoned up; everything seemed so easy. The wealthy women didn't have to work or go to school and the men respected the women in an old-time, chivalrous way. Electricity had just been invented and they claimed the glare from the lights were too much to get used to. I was jealous, wishing I had lived in that time. It all seemed so much simpler: no computers, cell phones, or social media sites to keep up with.
As I continued to watch though, I realized that the servants' and the family's lives were anything but simple. The servants don't have a say in everything they do and the family had 3 daughters with no close male cousins, since in that time women couldn't inherit their father's estate. Each character, both servant and wealthy, has some sort of inner qualm. They are happy on the outside, but fighting their own battles on the inside. They are striving for a wonderful, but seem to fall short. It's made me realize that no matter the technological advances, people haven't changed. We have and will all go through our own trials and tribulations at times and finding the strength to move on is never going to be easy. Actually standing up and walking again after you've fallen, though, is the key to the advances that we have in this modern age.
Life is never going to be a walk in the park. Issues, stressful times, and uncertainty will always be thrown at us. Yet, choosing to live a happy life, a life of hope and faith, will help to get us through the difficult times. Remembering that all sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord and that no one's problems are greater that your own is not only humbling, but will help to open your eyes and heart to the needs of others. It will allow you to serve and love others as Christ did. It will make you happier and healthier, and who doesn't want that?
As I continued to watch though, I realized that the servants' and the family's lives were anything but simple. The servants don't have a say in everything they do and the family had 3 daughters with no close male cousins, since in that time women couldn't inherit their father's estate. Each character, both servant and wealthy, has some sort of inner qualm. They are happy on the outside, but fighting their own battles on the inside. They are striving for a wonderful, but seem to fall short. It's made me realize that no matter the technological advances, people haven't changed. We have and will all go through our own trials and tribulations at times and finding the strength to move on is never going to be easy. Actually standing up and walking again after you've fallen, though, is the key to the advances that we have in this modern age.
Life is never going to be a walk in the park. Issues, stressful times, and uncertainty will always be thrown at us. Yet, choosing to live a happy life, a life of hope and faith, will help to get us through the difficult times. Remembering that all sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord and that no one's problems are greater that your own is not only humbling, but will help to open your eyes and heart to the needs of others. It will allow you to serve and love others as Christ did. It will make you happier and healthier, and who doesn't want that?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Angels Around Us
I thought I'd never see this day. My grandmother on oxygen and taking medications. She is still healthy, but has liquid in her lungs which cases her to have trouble breathing and not have an appetite. My grandmother is always doing something for her children, grandchildren, or friends. She is creative, full of inspiring stories and ideas, and so very loving. I know that everyone says this about their grandparents, but I can see the Lord's word coming to life through my grandma. And that, makes her one of a kind.
I had the privilege to spend a few days over my spring break at her house alone: just me and her. With 10 kids, 24 grandchildren, and lots of neighbors, being alone with Gram is rare. In those few days, we spoke a lot about my college life and my late grandfather, but we mostly spoke about faith and God. Her expression changed to one of peace and understanding as our discussion grew. The room and atmosphere had changed. The Lord had entered our conversation. God himself settled in on the couch next to my grandma and wrapped his arms around her. There was no war, grief, or outside world when we were speaking. There was only peace, forgiveness, faith, and God.
Call me crazy, but I truly believe that I saw the Lord in those discussions with my grandma. The past was simply God's plan coming to fruition. The future was our prayers being answers. Death was the ultimate blessing. Family was a support system to love God more. She helped to remind me that each day is already planned for us by the Lord. He has our whole life figured out for us so that we don't have to stress about it. He has a plan, so we can just enjoy His company and serve Him. It's a wonderful thing to keep in mind.
I had the privilege to spend a few days over my spring break at her house alone: just me and her. With 10 kids, 24 grandchildren, and lots of neighbors, being alone with Gram is rare. In those few days, we spoke a lot about my college life and my late grandfather, but we mostly spoke about faith and God. Her expression changed to one of peace and understanding as our discussion grew. The room and atmosphere had changed. The Lord had entered our conversation. God himself settled in on the couch next to my grandma and wrapped his arms around her. There was no war, grief, or outside world when we were speaking. There was only peace, forgiveness, faith, and God.
Call me crazy, but I truly believe that I saw the Lord in those discussions with my grandma. The past was simply God's plan coming to fruition. The future was our prayers being answers. Death was the ultimate blessing. Family was a support system to love God more. She helped to remind me that each day is already planned for us by the Lord. He has our whole life figured out for us so that we don't have to stress about it. He has a plan, so we can just enjoy His company and serve Him. It's a wonderful thing to keep in mind.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Disappointment Will Never Be Fun
It's a little ironic after my last post, with how confident and excited I was, that I didn't even get a second round interview. Murphy's Law, right? The more you want something, the less likely you are to actually get it. I can't lie, I cried when I saw the word "unfortunately" in the email. Everything in my life seems to be in place, so being able to give back in such a huge way would have been a blessing. It also doesn't help that the email looked eerily similar to the rejection email I got ten months ago. It's a tough pill to swallow: "Thanks, but no thanks" x2.
As hard as it is, I refuse to let this set me back for long--although there will be a mourning/junk food period for at least a day or two. My mother called me a little before I received the email to tell me that the daughter of an old neighbor passed away this morning. She was a freshman in college. She suffered a brain hemorrhage last night, was air lifted to the hospital, had emergency surgery, and passed away this morning. As I sit here crying about not getting asked back to an interview, I can't help but think of this family who has suffered a much greater loss than I did. She had no pre-existing conditions, yet when God says it's time, it's time.
The Lord will provide. He knocks us down again and again to rid us of our personal desires and wants and allow us to hear his word. I'm not saying it's easy. The mascara streaks on my cheeks from my tears are proof that disappointment and being told "no" stinks. It's not fun, ever. The Lord has a plan though and I pray like crazy that there is some exciting and happy emails coming my way soon, but, until then, I have to be ok with what He give me. Nothing more, nothing less.
As hard as it is, I refuse to let this set me back for long--although there will be a mourning/junk food period for at least a day or two. My mother called me a little before I received the email to tell me that the daughter of an old neighbor passed away this morning. She was a freshman in college. She suffered a brain hemorrhage last night, was air lifted to the hospital, had emergency surgery, and passed away this morning. As I sit here crying about not getting asked back to an interview, I can't help but think of this family who has suffered a much greater loss than I did. She had no pre-existing conditions, yet when God says it's time, it's time.
The Lord will provide. He knocks us down again and again to rid us of our personal desires and wants and allow us to hear his word. I'm not saying it's easy. The mascara streaks on my cheeks from my tears are proof that disappointment and being told "no" stinks. It's not fun, ever. The Lord has a plan though and I pray like crazy that there is some exciting and happy emails coming my way soon, but, until then, I have to be ok with what He give me. Nothing more, nothing less.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
His Guiding Hand
I am going to warn you up front, this post might be a little longer than any other I have written. Why? Well I felt the Lord touch my life in a big way today and it just keeps snowballing into bigger and better things. I am amazed; I love it; I have to share!
First thing's first. I turned in my application to become a Visitors Center (VC) Tour Leader yesterday! Woo-hoo!!! I am so freakin' pumped! Just the opportunity to go back into the VC and talk to the amazing people that work there gets me excited! I'm so blessed! Anyways, the application included a one page essay with the topic, "What's your story?" My first thought: You have got to be kidding me. I love writing--hello, I have a blog!--but I have never been good at writing without any specific directions. Last week, I was telling my dad about how frustrated I was that I couldn't think of a good "story," and mid-sentence a thought popped into my mind. What if I wrote about my Tour Leader application experience from January? Finally a stroke of genius (well, for me at least)!
You see, I have applied for this position once before. I made it to second round interview and I felt so at home at the VC that I was sure I would get it. God had different plans for me. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to show how much I had grown as a person since then so, I wrote how not getting the position allowed me to become fully engrossed in my leadership certificate classes and leadership positions. At first, it was hard at to revisit the feeling of rejection but, in the end, I fell really good about my application essay.
So then today happens. I get out of class and head for the restroom. The door seemed heavier than normal and so I pushed a little harder... A girl in line for a stall had been leaning against it. I smiled and apologized making some comment about how small the bathroom was or something. As I pulled my other book bag strap onto my shoulder, the girl who had been leaning on the door asked me if I went here (aka this awesome university I get to call home). Her mother was next to her and I asked them a ton of questions about where they were from, how they were liking campus, etc. They in turn asked me a lot of questions about my major, life in college, different organizations and so on. It turns out that another mother-daughter duo was in the bathroom too and the five of us chatted for a few minutes. The one girl was interested in PR (my major!) and the other was interested in the pre-vet program. They were juniors in high school and so excited about the process that lay ahead of them. I desperately wished that I could hop on their tour bus and show them around campus (class really gets in the way sometimes).
It hit me as I walked out of the bathroom that throughout our entire conversation, I had felt God's hand on my shoulder. He had walked me into that bathroom at the exact moment that I needed to and ran (literally) into this mother-daughter pair. I had the biggest, silliest, teeth-baring grin on my face for a solid 15+ minutes after that. I couldn't help it. Speaking to those two girls made me so happy and excited for their future. It was amazing. Hands down, it was an awe-inspiring moment of realization. I knew that my passion to become a Tour Leader is still burning bright inside of me and I am beyond ready for the rest of the application process to begin.
Now the other part of this story... As I sat down to write this post and I got to thinking about if I had written a post when I received the rejection email in January. So I looked; I had! Rereading that blog post, I was amazed at my positivity throughout it. It was a gratifying feeling to see and know that I am happy and really living out a life that I can be proud of. It's pretty cool to see how far I have come in my own development as a person, leader, and follower of Christ. He has everything laid out for my future and I am so excited to see all that He has planned! What a day!
First thing's first. I turned in my application to become a Visitors Center (VC) Tour Leader yesterday! Woo-hoo!!! I am so freakin' pumped! Just the opportunity to go back into the VC and talk to the amazing people that work there gets me excited! I'm so blessed! Anyways, the application included a one page essay with the topic, "What's your story?" My first thought: You have got to be kidding me. I love writing--hello, I have a blog!--but I have never been good at writing without any specific directions. Last week, I was telling my dad about how frustrated I was that I couldn't think of a good "story," and mid-sentence a thought popped into my mind. What if I wrote about my Tour Leader application experience from January? Finally a stroke of genius (well, for me at least)!
You see, I have applied for this position once before. I made it to second round interview and I felt so at home at the VC that I was sure I would get it. God had different plans for me. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to show how much I had grown as a person since then so, I wrote how not getting the position allowed me to become fully engrossed in my leadership certificate classes and leadership positions. At first, it was hard at to revisit the feeling of rejection but, in the end, I fell really good about my application essay.
So then today happens. I get out of class and head for the restroom. The door seemed heavier than normal and so I pushed a little harder... A girl in line for a stall had been leaning against it. I smiled and apologized making some comment about how small the bathroom was or something. As I pulled my other book bag strap onto my shoulder, the girl who had been leaning on the door asked me if I went here (aka this awesome university I get to call home). Her mother was next to her and I asked them a ton of questions about where they were from, how they were liking campus, etc. They in turn asked me a lot of questions about my major, life in college, different organizations and so on. It turns out that another mother-daughter duo was in the bathroom too and the five of us chatted for a few minutes. The one girl was interested in PR (my major!) and the other was interested in the pre-vet program. They were juniors in high school and so excited about the process that lay ahead of them. I desperately wished that I could hop on their tour bus and show them around campus (class really gets in the way sometimes).
It hit me as I walked out of the bathroom that throughout our entire conversation, I had felt God's hand on my shoulder. He had walked me into that bathroom at the exact moment that I needed to and ran (literally) into this mother-daughter pair. I had the biggest, silliest, teeth-baring grin on my face for a solid 15+ minutes after that. I couldn't help it. Speaking to those two girls made me so happy and excited for their future. It was amazing. Hands down, it was an awe-inspiring moment of realization. I knew that my passion to become a Tour Leader is still burning bright inside of me and I am beyond ready for the rest of the application process to begin.
Now the other part of this story... As I sat down to write this post and I got to thinking about if I had written a post when I received the rejection email in January. So I looked; I had! Rereading that blog post, I was amazed at my positivity throughout it. It was a gratifying feeling to see and know that I am happy and really living out a life that I can be proud of. It's pretty cool to see how far I have come in my own development as a person, leader, and follower of Christ. He has everything laid out for my future and I am so excited to see all that He has planned! What a day!
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