Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your own skin? I'm not talking about feeling embarrassed or wishing to loose a few pounds. I'm talking about not knowing who you are, feeling lost in your daily life. I'm a planner; I like to have a schedule and know what's coming next. Yet, at such a big transition period in my life--going from college to the working world is taking me for a ride--I suddenly don't have a plan. I don't have it all figured out. My favorite part about this confession: I'm relishing in the excitement of the unknown. Who am I?!
When I went to Italy with my friend Kristi, it was spontaneous. We threw out the idea and three weeks later we were boarding a plane for two weeks in a country neither of us had been to. I was a mess at the airport prior to boarding that plane. We only had hotels planned; we didn't know what we were going to do each day, but we would "figure it out". As a planner, I have never done well with spontaneous. So, boarding that plane on May 12 to fly over the Atlantic Ocean and into the unknown was a test and, I passed. Kristi will attest that I had moments of frustration and defeat, the moments where I couldn't control the situation. However with her support and the reminder that the hardest part was getting on that plane, I adopted a roll-with-it attitude. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm a fly by the seat of your pants type of person, but I am much better with and even enjoy doing things on a whim, on impulse.
Stepping on that plane and letting go of the agenda, of the research, of the control was the most liberating experience and it helped me discover the real me. I love adventure. I can't sit still for very long. I really dislike being bored. I love to walk and people watch. I'm an extrovert, but I enjoy listening. There's a certain comfort level that I have with myself after getting back from Italy. I can't attribute this new found ease to any one thing in particular, but I will say that there is something to be said about facing your fears. There is something to be said about pushing your own boundaries, your own limits to see what you are truly capable of. There is something to be said about being at ease with who you are and the confidence that comes with that knowledge. I am a follower of Christ, a daughter, a friend, a student (every day, in a classroom or not, is a learning experience). I am me; I am Megan. For the first time, I feel comfortable in my own skin and there is no better feeling!
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