Walking Under The Arch

Four years. Four years of school work, of late nights, of drama, of countless cups of coffee, of new friends, of philanthropy, of learning (both personal and academic), of life. All of this and so much more was running though my mind as I walked downtown after giving my final presentation of my college career this afternoon. As I approached The Arch, just like I had so many times before, part of me didn't want to walk under it. Walking through the pillars meant that college was really over... It's a little scary and daunting. It has been drilled into my mind to walk around The Arch for years, even before I began college. So, the fact that I was about to walk through it made me a little scared. Fists clenched and eyes closed, I finally walked under The Arch.

After that I was running figure eights through it! My group, whom I had just presented with in my final campaigns class, went and got a celebratory drink, but when I walked back by on the way to my car I was overcome with pride. It seems so trivial, walking under an arch, but for a UGA student and for me, it signifies so much of that dedication and determination over the four years when exhaustion never seemed to leave you. I still can't believe that I'm done, but what a ride it has been! All the work and late nights were worth it, just to walk under The Arch and graduate from The University of Georgia. I will forever bleed red & black! Go Dawgs!

Goodbye, Athens!

Today I moved out of my last college apartment.

There are so many mixed emotions with moving. Seeing all of my stuff, the things that are familiar and dear to me, shoved into the back of a car. It made me realize how much "stuff"I have, but also how insignificant possessions are in the grand scheme of things.
Then there are the friendships. I was blessed to have three very different, very supportive and very inspirational roommates this year. We were random roommates and it turned out to be one of the best, most eye-opening experiences of my college career.

Then there is the final drive through the town I called home for four years: Athens. I've done so much "growing up" in that town. I discovered organizations that fit my passions. I met new people and made wonderful new friends. I pushed myself to and beyond my limits in both my thoughts and actions. I celebrated the big 2-1 in Athens. I felt heartbreak and lose. Athens has been a journey, a struggle and a blessing to me. There were amazing times and there were times when I just wanted to runaway.

All in all, Athens has helped me to realize what I want in life. Any UGA grad you speak with will tell you about the glory days between the hedges, they'll tell you the crazy stories and they'll say without a doubt that Athens will always be their home. There is a passion that comes with Athens. Students, graduates, families, everyone loves Athens. I love Athens too. However, I am ready and excited to move on to bigger and better. Now just to figure out where the "bigger" and "better" is...

The alone feeling

Your roommate tells you that she wants to go out tonight, so you get ready while she's out to dinner with her boyfriend. When they get back and hang out for awhile, you're not surprised when you get a text from her saying that she doesn't feel like going out anymore. You scan your recent texts for someone, anyone who you could invite to go out. Scrolling. Scrolling. Nothing. They're either not in town or you're not close enough friends to call for a last minute night out. So instead you text your other roommate to vent. 

She's at a party and was a little overwhelmed about going because her ex was going to be there. After your vent, you ask how she's doing and ask if she needs some company--because at this point you just want to get out of your apartment to prove to your roommate that she's wrong and missing out by not going out. The party is overwhelming, so you go and pick up your roommate and drive downtown to grab a drink. 

Sitting at the high-top table, music blaring, nothing is off limits. Any baggage you were carrying is free game and so it comes out that your roommate feels like she has no friends and describes the exact recent text message scroll technique you did earlier. 

*Spoiler alert: this was my night and my roommates.*

Sitting there talking to my roommate and one of my best friends I realized that I'm not the only one who gets that alone feeling in the pit of my stomach. The gloom you get when you feel like you have no friends, no one close by to call on, no one to talk to.

It stinks and tears are almost a guarantee, but I've always felt that I was the only one who felt that way, who felt alone. But I realized tonight that my roommate, even standing in the middle of a crowded party, felt alone. I wish I could say that calling on God in these moments will make that feeling go away, but it's a very real feeling. Definitely call on and pray to God. He helps in more ways than you can ever imagine, but this loneliness feeling just sits there and grows. I don't know what the solution is. Maybe being more open with your friends or being honest about your feelings with your roommate when she ditches. But maybe it's just owning the fact that we all need to feel alone every once in awhile in order to feel loved and cherished our friends and family. Owning the feeling and praying about it... I'm going to try that combo next time. 

Why being single has been a blessing

I'm 22. In college years, that's old. It's time for me to move on and start my big girl life. Yet, I'm left dwelling on the past. For the majority of the past four years, my college years, I've been single. I've gone on dates, "talked" with a guy (the definition of which I'm still hazy on), and dated, but I have not had a serious relationship in college. Some jaws might drop at the idea of not having a serious boyfriend during this time, but I see it as one of the biggest blessings I've experienced to date.  

In the past four years, I've joined organizations, studied, experimented with style, learned the meaning of faith, made new friends, said goodbye to old relationships, built a photography business and held three internships. I've been busy, but I've also found myself. I finally know who I am right now in this moment. Before these years of self-discovery, I was a mirror. I watched, picked up on traits and sayings that were "cool" and reflected back these traits. I was being molded by the things that I thought were valued, the things that I thought people wanted to see. In actuality, I was becoming a junk pile of different people, hiding myself with other people's individuality. I was a sinking ship, heading nowhere fast. It was a slippery slope and I didn't even recognize it. 

I've learned. I've learned from heartbreak and adventure. I've learned from my leadership positions and my friends. The connection string through all of this is that I wasn't tied down to one person or thing. I was free to explore and discover. 

It's been a journey, starting with feeling alone. There came a point when I felt like I had no friends, no real friends at least. I was changing my personality and energy based on the people I was with, not based on how I felt. I was literally a twin of whoever I was with--I can't even imagine how annoying that must have been! I wanted people to like me and know me, but I wanted it for the wrong reasons. The real problem was that I didn't even know myself. I joined the clubs that I felt obligated to join instead of the ones that I was truly passionate about. 

Four years, especially the last two, I have been in a constant state of self-discovery. Now though, I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin. There are still moments where I want to bite my tounge or hide from embarrassment, but I am better equipped to handle these situations. While I value the guys that I've met and dated over the past few years, I know that I would still be searching for my true self if I have been in a serious relationship. I wouldn't have been on my own or been able to feel alone, which is where I finally began to uncover who I was and who I wanted to be. Do I sometimes wish that I had had a boyfriend and didn't have to ask around for a date for a sorority date night? Of course! It would have been so much easier, but I never would have figured out what I'm comfortable with or felt my heart beat a hundred miles an hour every time  I asked a guy on my sorority date night. It was moments like those that I found a new piece of myself. I cherish each piece of this crazy life puzzle. As an old 22 year old, I am finally ready to move forward, finally ready (and excited) to just be me. 

What are we missing?

Do you ever think about all that you're missing out on? Too depressing to think about? Let me put it a different way.... Have you ever had a stranger, a total rando say hello to you and instead of saying hello and asking his/her name, you just smile and walk (quickly) away? Have you ever seen someone in the grocery store who looks like they could use a little help reaching or carrying something? Yet, because you don't want t to be awkward or because it isn't necessarily your business, you don't offer to help? I hope by this point you're thinking, "Yep, guilty and guilty," because I know that I am.

So many times I avoid the unknown, whether it is helping a person at the store or starting a conversation with the person next to me on the bus. We, all of us, shy away from the unknown. It is not until the moments after I pass up the opportunity to make a new connection or help someone that I regret it. I regret not helping, not at least offering. For such extrovert who can talk to anyone, what am I afraid of? Thinking of how much more I could know if I had taken the opportunities to talk to all these new people, perhaps I should feel sad or even bad. Instead, I feel inspired; I feel encouraged to never let one of these opportunities pass me up again.

I just finished the movie Last Love. In the movie, a young girl befriends a widowed elderly man and they become dear friends. As I looked at the two of them, I couldn't help but reflect on my own life. All of my grandparents have passed away and I desperately miss their presence. I want that older and wiser person in my life again. Who knows, maybe that little old lady at the store, who can't quite reach the top shelf, could help restore that presence in my life. It's a happy thought and there is only one way to find out if I'm right... to rise about the potential awkwardness, the possible weird looks and the few minutes of time I might waste and offer my help. Just the thought makes me smile. One little gesture can make someone's day. Even if the little old lady doesn't need my help, at least I offered. At least I tried.

You have to live in order to write

I consider myself a writer. Yes, I prefer to jot random ideas down on a blog rather than start a novel, but writing is writing. I've suggested to many friends who always seem to be weighed down by their thoughts to start a blog. There is something extremely therapeutic about it: I have to channel and focus in on my thoughts to be able to make sense of them so others can understand them if/when they read my blogs. Anyways, I had a lazy night and turned on a random movie, which happened to be about a family of writers. In the movie, Stuck In Love, the father is a well-known author and his son and daughter are also aspiring writers. When the son gets flustered and jealous over his sister's book being published, his father sits down with him. He explains to his son that his sister is out living a life, finding adventure, putting her heart on the line and these experiences compelled and inspired her to write. The son, according to his dad, hasn't been living a life of love and excitement, which is why he's suffering writers block.

This scene struck me. Writers have to go out and live in order to have something to write about, motivation to write and an eagerness to put one's thoughts on paper. Normally, a blog post would just come to me. Something--be it a person or topic or situation--would happen and I would suddenly want and need to write to get the emotion off of my heart and organize my thoughts. It was powerful. It is powerful for me. Recently, however, I've suffered my own case of writers block. After I wrote my day-by-day account of my Italy trip and had that huge life experience, I feel as though nothing compares. I can't find the passion or desire to write.

I must have started five or six posts. Some don't have titles, some only have titles, but the desire to relinquish and open my thoughts hasn't been there. I don't have the interest, and that scares me. My blog and being about to express my thoughts has been a point of strength in my life. It has helped me sort though many confusing and emotional points in my life. As I prepare to move away from college and start my "grown-up" life, I should have enough emotions to fill post after post. That is why the line from Stuck In Love hit me like a brick. I haven't been exploring. I'm not talking about going to new restaurants and going to new places, I have been doing that. Rather, I'm talking about exploring me and who I am. I have to explore me before I will be able to go out a experience new things in life. One foot in front of the other, I'll figure "this" out.

Athens Bulldog Statues

As part of my UGA bucket list, I wanted to find all of the bulldog statues. All of the news articles and blogs that I have read said that there are 36 bulldogs, however I have counted/heard of 49. Below is the list of bulldogs that I know/heard of listed by location... Can you find them all?

Downtown Athens
1. BB&T (475 E. Broad St.)

2. Chastain Building (272 W. Hancock Ave.)

3. Biotest Pharmaceuticals (233 W. Hancock Ave.)

4. Thomas N. Lay Community Center & Park (297 Hoyt St.)

5. UGA Alumni Association Wray-Nicholson House (298 S. Hull St.)

6.* Classic Center (300 N. Thomas St.)
          NOTE: Normally this bulldog is inside at the top of the escalators, however they do put it in storage during large events.

7. Old Jittery Joe's Warehouse (across from 805 E. Broad St.)

Milledge Avenue Area
8. Five Points Eye Care (698 S. Milledge Ave.)

9. Silver & Archibald Milledge Offices (997 S. Milledge Ave.)

10. Georgia United Credit Union (1710 S. Lumpkin St.)

11. Jittery Joe's at Five Points (1230 S. Milledge Ave.)

12. UGA Foley Baseball Field (1 Rutherford St.)
          NOTE: Only accessible during baseball games. 

13. Memorial Park Playground (293 Glen Ellen Dr.)

14. UGA Golf Course (2600 Riverbend Rd.)
          NOTE: This dog is only brought out for special occasions. I had a friend who worked at the course.

Baxter Street
15. Baxter Street Bookstore (360 Baxter St.)

16. Bulldog Sporting Goods (1068 Baxter St.)

17. St. Mary's Hospital - just before you go into the Visitor's Parking Deck (1230 Baxter St.)

18. Athens-Clarke County Library (2025 Baxter St.)

East Side
19. Chick-fil-A (1870 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

20. Athens First Bank & Trust Co. (1855 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

21. Fire Station #7 (2390 Barnett Shoals Rd.)

Prince Avenue Area
22. Georgia Power (1001 Prince Ave.)

23. UGA Health Sciences Campus - in front of Winnie Davis Hall (HSC: 1425 Prince Ave, bulldog: intersection of Fox Rd. & Buck Rd.)

24. Power Partners, Inc. - just past Terrapin on the right (200 Newton Bridge Rd.)

25. AT&T Offices (2319 Prince Ave.)

26. Athens YMCA (915 Hawthorne Ave.)

27. Athens Family Dental (3380 Old Jefferson Rd.)

Broad St. to Atlanta Hwy
28. Steak n' Shake (2033 W. Broad St.)

          NOTE: There is a bulldog outside of I DO I DO Bridal Center (2045 W. Broad St.), however it is a wannabe bulldog statue. It's smaller and a different mold as the rest of these statues.

29. Robins Federal Credit Union (2636 Atlanta Hwy.)

30. American Pest Control, Inc. (3145 Atlanta Hwy.)

31. Dalton Carpet One Floor & Home (3690 Atlanta Hwy.)

32. Athens Church (10 Huntington Rd.)

33. Bulldog Kia (4305 Atlanta Hwy.)

34. Community & Southern Bank (3990 Atlanta Hwy, Bogart, GA 30622)

Inside UGA Buildings
35. Terrell Hall - 2nd floor, North Campus entrance (210 S. Jackson St.)

36. Terrell Hall - 1st floor,S. Jackson St. entrance (210 S. Jackson St.)

37. Aderhold Hall - Carlton St. entrance, bottom floor (110 Carlton St.)

38. Coliseum Training Facility - Carlton St. entrance, upstairs by a window (100 Smith St.)

39. College of Veterinary Medicine (1070 D. W. Brooks Dr.)

40. College of Pharmacy - inside the secretary's office (250 W. Green St.)

41. Graduate School Office (279 Williams St.)

42. UGA Visitor's Center (405 College Station Rd.)


Outside of Athens
43. Watkinsville Storage (67 Greensboro Hwy, Watkinsville, GA 30677)

44. Athens-Ben Epps Airport (1010 Ben Epps Dr.)

45. Southeast Clarke Park (535 Whit Davis Rd.)

46. Georgia Welcome Center (938 County Road 84, Lavonia, GA 30553)

47. Gnat's Landing (310 Redfern Village, St. Simons Island, GA 31522)

48. Blackwater Grill Parking Lot (260 Redfern Village, St. Simons Island, GA 31522)

49 Humane Society Penny Dawg (1619 Frederica Rd., St. Simons Island, GA 31522)


*Not sure if there is still a bulldog at this location