Rejection

Do you ever go through situations and you're left asking yourself if you have any true friends? Now there are moments when friends aren't at their best or they say something hurtful; I'm not talking about those once in a blue moon type of situations. I'm referring to the people who constantly leave you out of plans (even though they make the plans and invite other people right in front of you) and act like they did nothing wrong. I'm talking about the people who make you feel horrible about yourself and leave you just wanting to escape reality and leave them all behind. No matter how hard you try to keep up conversation or help them with things, encounters with these people leave you feeling empty and worthless.

I feel like I end up around these people a lot. I seem to always be forgotten. To be honest, it really stinks. Just writing down these thoughts brings the feeling back and I want to break down and cry, which I refuse to cry over people who don't deserve my tears.

I can't say that it is all their fault; I'm not perfect either, but I just wish they could see how hurtful they're being. I know, I sound like a 5 year old, but here's my point. Being left out or excluded really stinks, like a lot. No matter who you are or what you're being excluded from, it feels bad. So, if we know it hurts others so much, why do we constantly choose to leave others out thinking we'll be better off without them? I know that I would probably have a better time if some people were not around, however I physically cannot exclude them because I don't want them to suffer this horrible feeling of rejection. Yet, at the same time does that mean I have to suffer through something with a person I don't really care for?

I don't know what the answer or middle ground is. However, I can take a hint when people don't want me around. And I've just decided that I'm better off without them. I want to surround myself with people who love and care about me and who can make me a better person. I have to rely on The Lord to bring those people into my life and I have to keep my eyes open and my heart washed clean so that when these people do walk into my life I can welcome them with open arms.