Pay it forward

I'd like to start this post by saying that I'm addicted to caffeine. It's a problem. Usually I get frustrated when I spend money on coffee (which I do at least twice a week), but today, my trip to the coffee shop was the highlight of my day.

I always stop by a coffee shop on campus that is combined with a food court. I was next in line to pay, when the cashier said, "$5.35" to the girl in front of me in line. The girl looked at the $5 bill in her hand, looked back at the cashier, and managed to mumble an "uhhhhh, well my wallet..." Normally I would just switch lines; she clearly was going to take a while to go get her wallet, but I surprised myself by blurting out, "Oh, I have 35¢!" The girl looked at me as I began digging in the change pocket of my wallet. "Thank you so much," is all she said, but the thankful smile on her face made my day. It was so spur the moment; I said it without even thinking about it. 

It was a simple act of kindness that made my smile and, hopefully, it made the girl's day as well. As I walked out of the food court, my heart swelled. It felt so good to help out a random stranger. I couldn't help but hope that she now does a random act of kindness for someone. Pay it forward. It will never hurt; it will only make you better and happier.

Seeing the future

I was talking to my roommate this afternoon about random things. I mentioned that I needed to start thinking about who I wanted to take on my sorority's next date night. I grumbled about how I wished I had a go-to guy to ask and how I always seem to wait until the last minute to ask someone on my date nights. My roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Megan, I see your future life and I am jealous of it." It was a quick statement as we seamlessly moved onto another topic, but it really stood out to me.

So often we spend time obsessing over other people. We stalk them on Facebook (whether we admit it or not), talk to our friends about how wonderful their life is, and so on. We put all of this energy, whether we realize it or not, into that person's life. It might seem inconsequential to you, but you give that person power over your life that they don't need nor deserve.

I'm guilty of it. I constantly comparing myself to others; we all do it. While my roommates comment made me feel really good about myself, it also made me realize that I shouldn't allow other people to influence my life in such monumental ways. I should get to choose who my mentors, life coaches and friends are and I will give them the ability to influence my life. I'm freeing these random people that I constantly compare myself to, they no longer have a hold over me (even though I gave them that power in the first place). I'm choosing to be happy with myself and my life and, for now, that is enough for me.

The Power of the Written Word

We write things every day. A post on a friend's Facebook wall. A tweet sharing exciting news. A caption on an Instagram photo. Words, written words are everywhere. Yet the written word that we partake in every day seems to fall short of feeling. We all receive text messages from friends and we don't know how to interpret them. Are they mad? Is it just a statement? What is the underlying meaning? It's part of the world we now live in, this uncertainty when it comes to the written word, yet it holds power over us in ways that we don't realize.

I received a hand-written letter from my grandmother today. I'd like to say that again... a hand-written letter. I know what you're thinking, of course it's hand-written, it's your grandmother. This is true, but Patricia has a Facebook and is quick to pick up the phone. The power that her handwriting held was astounding. There is no "undo" or "delete" when it comes to a hand-written letter. You write in the moment and I think there is something to say about feeling and meaning the words that you write.

I'm a total hypocrite as I sit here writing this blog post on my computer. I constantly change the wording in my sentences and delete words, but I also believe what I am writing. There is something so wonderful about the simplicity of a hand-written note and I love it. Don't be shocked if you get a letter in the mail from me sometime soon. I kind of love the idea of bringing hand-written letters back. I'd like to apologize in advance for my handwriting, though.

Actions speak louder then words

Faith is personal. It is something all your own and no one can take it from you. But, God calls us to share our faith and His name. While many people rely on reciting scripture, I have always had the intention, or simply hope, that my faith and God's word would shine through my actions and my words. It's a difficult task. We all fall--me, both figuratively and literally--but Christ's love is worth getting back up for.

A friend confirmed my hopes tonight when she shared her own revelations about faith and God with me. I apologized that I never said anything about my faith to her, that I had never helped her along in her faith. With complete serenity, she told me that I did. Looking back, she can see God's hand through our friendship and encouraging words. It is so simple and, yet so powerful to know that my day-to-day actions are seen as more then movements. It's a great reminder that, while we are constantly being judged and scrutinized by others, we also have the power to show compassion toward them. Actions are a dynamic thing that so often get over looked.

I've always had this notion that blog posts are supposed to be at least two or three solid paragraphs. Yet, this is all I have. I am still wrapping my head around the idea; I had so many thoughts running through my head that I needed to at least get one written down. So, here it is: God loves us and He calls on us to do different things, lead different lives, and share His good news in different ways. Lead a life that God would be proud of and let your actions be your words.

Life is sweet

So many times I see posts or Buzzfeed links to articles on how to live a healthier, happier, more fulfilling life. I click on the links and read the articles and, many times, repost them. It's a never ending cycle. However, what I have failed to realize until now is that every time I clicked on those articles I was saying, consciously or not, that I believe my own life isn't healthy enough, that I'm not happy, and that there are simple steps I can follow to make my life more meaningful. These articles are asking me to "buy in" to the idea that even when I'm at my best, I can be better. Constantly. Better. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

What I've come to realize is that it's a never ending cycle of disappointment. I read an article that told me I didn't know ABC about being in my 20s and I could be happier if I did XYZ. These social pressures make me look at my parents, who grew up before this huge social media presence, and ask if they were happy in their 20s. How could they be? They didn't have these articles and social media posts helping them be happier and healthier. Yet, I reflect on this past weekend when my brother and his fiancé (now wife) said their vows surrounded by family and friends. I could feel the love and friendship radiating from each and every person in the room. That is a life worth living for and a life to strive for, but I can guarantee that you won't find that in a Buzzfeed article.

Just a few days away from the clutter of social media made me realize that I'm tired of trying to perfect my life. When I block out social media, I can see that my life is pretty great. Sure, I fall and go through tough times, but who doesn't. Those tough times don't mean that I'm any less happy than my neighbor. Those harder life moments are where I lean on my faith, family and friends. I want to turn my focus to the here and now. I'm choosing to be happy with the life that Christ has given to me. It is enough. So to all those articles that tell me I'm missing something in my life... Thank you, but I'm content with my life. I want to be proof that life is just as sweet as I choose to make it. So, I'm making it a double fudge, ice cream sundae with M&M's, whipped cream and a cherry on top!

Realizations

I never imagined that it would be this difficult and take this long to transition back into the college lifestyle from my internship. I've realized two major things since ending my internship:

1) It is so much easier to be yourself with strangers. 

When I met my team back in May, we were all starting from scratch. None of us were Facebook friends, a few of us had met during the interview process, but we were all starting with a fresh slate. We introduced ourselves and were allowed to get to know each other over time. We set the pace for our bonding, but we were together everyday so we learned quickly. There were no preconceived notions and, for me, I was able to be myself without fear of judgement. These people didn't have a choice; they were stuck with me, just as I was stuck with them. We accepted each other's faults and strengths and learned to pick up where someone was not as strong. We became a team, a family on our own terms. 

2) There is more to life than Athens. 

I was fortunate enough to work on some amazing golf courses and to see some spectacular cities this summer! Every town had its own flavor and beat that we got to be a part of for a week. It opened my eyes to the beauty and diversity around the country (or at least the central south) and that Athens is just another city on the map. I will say that it has a very cool, urban, hipster beat with dedicated fans that I love, but it is just a city on the map. My fellow dawgs are cringing right now; I just committed the ultimate crime by saying that Athens is just another city. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed my past three years here and I will be yelling at the top of my lungs when the dawgs tee it up between the hedges in Sanford Stadium next month. My summer experience taught me to see Athens as a stop on my own life map. I'm here for a bit longer then our tournaments this summer (4.4 years longer), but I have bigger and better things on my horizon. It's a chance to learn and grow and I'll seize the opportunities that come my way, but moving on when graduation rolls around will be a welcomed change in my life. 

There is so much that the world has to offer and I'm ready to break the ties that a college town wraps around you. I'm excited for my senior year, but I'm excited for life after UGA as well where the slate is clean and there's more to do!

Day 75: Final goodbyes

I can't believe that I said goodbye to the rest of my team this morning. Brett and Tori were so sweet and drove me to the airport at 4:15 a.m. for my 6 a.m. flight. That is the sign of a true friend. None of us were ready to say goodbye. It was so hard to say goodbye to those two especially. They were two of my closest friends this summer. I leaned on them a lot during the stressful times and celebrated with them during our triumphs. 

I honestly can't believe that it's over. I felt like I was going through the application process forever and the. The anticipation for the internship to start seemed to last for an eternity. Now, as I look back on this amazing summer, I refuse to believe that I'm done traveling from city to city and hanging out with my team 24/7. The weirdest part right now is not preping my book bag for a day on the course tomorrow. When my parents and I got home, I immediately asked my dad if we could go to the driving range. Not only did I miss the smack of the ball as the club hit it, but I never actually got to hit a golf ball this summer. It was fun to go out and attempt to hit a golf ball. I was horrible at it (as in only touched the golf ball 10 of the 50 times I swung the club), but I really do love the sport and want to pick it up!

I learned so much this summer. For starters, I learned about golf. Seventy-five days ago I didn't know that the holes on the greens could move, I didn't know how to write about golf (who carded what?) and I wasn't even comfortable in a golf cart. Now, I can write a golf story in 15-20 minutes flat and I can talk to juniors about their round and actually know what they're talking about. I also learned so much about myself and working in a team. My team is absolutely amazing, but we had a LOT of different personalities. It was hectic and clashed at times, yet we always figured out how to power through an assignment and resolve an issue. I learned when to ask for help and when to work harder to figure things out on my own. I learned to keep and open mind and be a sponge, soaking up as much information as I possibly could every day. 

From my host families to golf course staff to the players and their parents, I have met so many amazing people. Since our team was in Louisiana and Texas for most of the summer, we got to see and get to know a lot of the same kids. They're really great kids and are so talented! We were able to see them improve their game and grow as individuals throughout the summer which was rewarding in itself. It sounds crazy, but I'm really going to miss the juniors that I met and got to know, especially the ones that actually laughed at my corny jokes in the starting tent!

My entire team was taking bets on when, not if, I would cry yesterday. I held it together until I got home. I took a nap after my dad and I got back from the driving range. I woke up, sat straight up and couldn't figure out why I wasn't in the backseat of a truck (Friday's were travel and nap days). When I realized that my travel days and the internship were over, I lost it. I couldn't help it. My heart still aches at the thought of leaving my team. We're from all over the country and, while I really want to stay in touch with them as will make an effort to, there's a strong possibility that I will never see them again. It's a weird feeling and a hard thing to come to terms with. 

As I look around my room and mentally prepare myself to move back to school tomorrow, I feel so, so blessed. This summer was life-changing. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I had no clue that I could accomplish so much between 5-11 a.m. I didn't know that I could rock a polo every day and that I could become obsessed with golf. This summer was one of the best experiences of my life and although I am exhausted both mentally and physically, I wish that I could start it all over again tomorrow. It was by far the best summer of my life!