"At The Cross" by Chris Tomlin is faintly playing and my heart physically hurts. It's not a weary-hurt, rather my heart is heavy with love and joy, peace and serenity.
At the cross
At the cross
I surrender my life
I'm in awe of You
I'm in awe of You
Where Your love ran red
and my sin washed white
I owe all to You
I owe all to You Jesus
The truth in the words of the chorus shake me to my core every time I hear them. Something is different this morning though—this morning I feel free. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions both in my professional and personal life. My days have been filled with the highest highs and the lower lows, with several days of just simple normality. It's a lot to process and make sense of. I feel as though I've been walking through fog with little bursts of clarity. I'm exhausted.
I think we can all agree that this life we walk through has a tendency to beat us down and wear on us, often without us even realizing it. This quiet morning reflecting on the Lord's grace, patience and plan is a reminder to turn to Him in the good, the bad and the in-between.
I read Rediscover Jesus earlier this year and one chapter has really stuck with me. It posed the questions:
Why is it so hard to fully surrender your life to Christ?
What are you afraid of?
Do you really think you will loose a part of yourself if you surrender to Christ?
Why is the unknown, the "free fall" so scary?
Then Chris Tomlin's words flash into my mind, "At the cross, I surrender my life," and the tension that I was unconsciously holding releases. Every day is a fight against the oppressor yet, when I allow myself to fully submit to the Lord, life doesn't seem so weary and hopeless. When Christ's love ran red, my sins were washed white. By pure grace and sacrifice, I have the ability to live life with love and joy, peace and serenity. I am in awe, pure awe of You.
